A Note on Wellness....

Something I forgot, when embarking on my third Whole30, is that there are more components than just eating. Whole30 was actually built into what Dallas and Melissa Hartwig dubbed the "Whole9." The nine components of life that, when in harmony, make someone whole and happy. I like the style of the Hartwig's message, and after realizing that Whole30 has actually healed my emotional struggle with food, I knew that I had to delve deep into Whole9.

When I set out on this endeavor, I knew that Whole30 would work and I wanted to see some better results. I set goals:

1. Exercise at least 4x/week
2. No Snacks! 
3. No Cheats!
4. Whole30: Ballin' on a Budget Style.

I look at my goals now, as we are approaching the halfway point. I am really big on reflecting, and want to share this with you. Goals are really important. I don't think anything can happen without goalsetting. If we aren't always striving to be our best selves, then what is the point of being? 

I need to remember that I cannot just say, "oh yeah, I'm doing all those things!" I have to cross-check. Here come the Whole9 Principles, bolded where I am lacking:

1. Eat Good Food (check: Whole30)
2. Sleep Deeply
3. Move Your Body
4. Handle Your Stress
5. Connect With Others 
6. Get Outside
7. Be The Best You
8. Have Some Fun
9. Own Your Choices

Sleeping deeply is something I have struggled with for the last two years. It isn't something that comes easy to me anymore, and it is something I am oftentimes trying to overcompensate for. This has been remediated in nightguards, a root canal, and no caffeine after noon, but I'm still not perfect. Unfortunately, this is not due to anything inside my locus of control, so for now, I wait. 

 

Connecting with Others. I moved to OKC recently, and immediately started work. I pick my friends wisely; I don't like professional and personal lives getting intertwined too much, and I also don't like drama. I prefer to surround myself with people that are passionate, extroverted and well-traveled and read. Unfortunately, when my social life is lacking, so is that department of my life. I am working on this one; joining a yoga studio, branching out into the community, and these things take time. The first step is admitting, right?

In Oklahoma, getting outside isn't exactly the easiest thing to do, and sometimes, when you are outside, there isn't a whole lot TO do! The weather is about to turn, but this doesn't stop us from walking to our favorite Whole30-friendly breakfast place (probably not what the Hartwig's have in mind here) and oftentimes try to breathe that fresh questionable Oklahoma air. 

I realized this week, while pushing myself professionally (being the best me!) that when one ninth of my life is out of balance, the rest of my life becomes hectic and seems out of control. I didn't work out four times this week; if I work out tomorrow and Sunday I'll make it, but it hasn't happened organically. I am proud of the progress I am making, but I know that I can always improve. 

So, readers, my lesson today is this: It does not matter how much we push our bodies and minds. At the end of the day, we need to find that balance to be our best selves and live our best lives. 

For more info on Whole9, click here.

Tune in tomorrow for some food pics, What's In My Fridge, and some other exciting Whole30 things! 

Round 3, Days 5 and 6

As I sit here, listening to Taylor Swift's new album, I realize that I haven't blogged in the last three days because I didn't want to seem disappointing! Well, we all have those weeks of disappointment, right? This one was mine.

Post root-canal, my eye started to feel really sore. By Friday, when I woke up, I looked like I was punched in the face. I felt terrible, my eye was all crusty and I wasn't feeling it. Oddly enough, my teeth, gums and mouth all felt great! I called my dentist after googling eye swelling after root canal and seriously thought I was going to die. He told me I was fine and that it could be related but also wasn't common. Tell that to google, Dr. H. 

Throughout the day it got increasingly worse, and I insisted it wasn't a stye. M finally told me Saturday morning that it was, and it was so developed at that time you couldn't deny it. I started heating my eye - at this point I couldn't see and it was hard to open my eye. I looked like a pirate all day, but hey, it finally went away. Moral of this story: when this happens, the last thing you want to do is cook, clean, or be a real person. 

Unfortunately, we didn't have leftovers this week. LIKE AT ALL. Between me not feeling like cooking a whole chicken (I put it in the freezer for later) and not really planning to feel terribly for three days, dinner was a little interesting. Add in there 3 very late nights (go thunder!) and the season opener last night....all bets were off when it came to dinner. Why did I waste your time with this story?

I'm reminding you that whole30 doesn't always have to look perfect to BE perfect. 

Although we had a lot on our plates (proverbial!) we still managed to get healthy food into our bodies, save time to work out, and make great life choices. This doesn't have to be difficult, I promise. 

So, what did happen? 

For breakfast, we went to our usual place, Kitchen 324. I wish I could plug them more than just in a short blurb. We go there every week, and the same girl (Trinity) serves us every week. It's so great to get to know the people in our community, eat food that has been prepared for us, to our specifications, and with a smile. I love Kitchen 324, and their menu is really easy for us to manipulate. We generally get the same thing every time:

• a side of extra crispy bacon
• green eggs and ham without the english muffin 
• COFFEE

the green eggs and ham is amazing. It has arugula, two poached eggs, prosciutto and a side of potatoes. NOM.

We ate late, and lunch didn't really exist. We had the basketball game to go to last night so M left before me, and had some grapes, short ribs (that were so good that pictures weren't taken fast enough and I lost out) and some brussels sprouts. I had some veggies with my girlfriend Lauren before the game and ended up STARVING later last night. 

Friday wasn't much different. M worked late, I took a 4 hour nap after work...we just looked in the fridge for food. I had put the short ribs in the crock pot that morning, so veggies were the only things we actually needed to find. 

This week, my goals are to actually you know, be productive. 

I did, however, work out 4 times this week, I have been feeling awesome and great AND my pants are fitting! I am glad to see progress this time around pretty quickly. 

I have a lot more to say, but I'll save it for another post here shortly. I'll sign of for now, and make you wait for my Food Waste Friday, Shopping Bill Sunday, and WIMF (what's in my fridge) this week!  

Round 3, Day 2.

Day 2! We are here! 

28 to go! 

So far, there is nothing new to report. We had a super busy day, leaving the house at 7:30a and not getting home and into our cozies until 7:45p. Unfortunately, it is just that time of year, ya hear me? 

Needless to say, I get off work much sooner than M. Usually, he comes home between 6:30 and 9:00, depending on the day and how much he has to do. I don't know how he does all of that, manages a ton of our personal life with this house, and also finds time to work out! Come to think of it, he probably doesn't live tweet his job (and that takes up more time than one may think)! Follow my day-to-day things I hear from students here! 

I left work today, came home, read a little in this book which I'm totally into. I try to read one good-for-you book every three fictional books (gotta start somewhere) and I am finding that this one is a pretty easy read and totally applicable to my life. I need to start realizing that I deserve to be compensated for the work I am doing and become a better negotiator. I think I can work on that! 

I digress from the original reason I started this post: Day 2. 

So far, no symptoms, no cravings, no hangover...I worked out yesterday and today and they were both pretty productive. I haven't crashed midday, still drinking coffee...the usual, friends. Maybe soon I'll start to feel the detoxing process but so far, nahhhhh. 

What did we eat today? 

Quality Photo brought to you by iPhone. 

Breakfast: see yesterday's post.

Lunch: see yesterday's dinner. 

Dinner: OH MAN, SO GOOD! What was it? I thought you'd never ask! 

• Baked Sweet Potato (rubbed in ghee, salt/peppered and thrown straight into the oven on the rack. 450 degrees for 50 minutes, OMG SO GOOD).
• Raw Brussels Sprout Salad with Bacon and Tessa Mae's Black Pepper Dressing. Easy enough. Just ran the BSprouts through the food processor and rinsed! 
• Picnic Roast (aka pork shoulder) in the crockpot! I used the rest of my bone broth to give it some liquid and today it smelled delicious in here when I got home! 

Okay, y'all. Here for good.

Hi Readers!

Now, you probably didn't miss me, but I MISS YOU! I miss having a place to put my thoughts down, write about my life, and pretend people care. I'm so self-centered (but I hear if you own it, the stigma goes away...)!

Anyway, Monday is the first day of the third Whole30 I plan to do. I currently have two under my belt, and this time around I want to really get serious about what I am doing. I am setting some pretty serious goals this time around and hoping that my results will be better than what they were during my last round. Since you are here to keep me accountable, below are my goals:

1. Exercise at least 4x/week.
2. No Snacks!
3. No Cheats! --This one is important. Last time, I gave some leeway on what was "technically" whole30. This time, no technicalities: just pure, real food.
4. Do this whole deal, for both M and I, as cheaply as possible. Eating real doesn't have to be spendy. 

That said, this brings my blog to a new level in fun. This is what you can look forward to:

1. Food Photos (NOM..I am planning on dinner for sure, but will try for more - its usually lefties)
2. Weekly Grocery Costs
3. Food Waste Friday (because, seriously, we all have zucchini that goes bad)
4. A glimpse at my favorite food blogs!

I hope you join me in a commitment I am making to you, myself and my kitchen for what could be quite a while! I can't wait to see you here!

**Please connect with me via social media: @babybarnacle (twitter) , @sadienewell (instagram)!

S

the hiatus that lasted almost 30 days.

Readers, did you miss me?

Don't lie. I know you forgot. 

Anyway, like I mentioned over a month ago, I set out to do another Whole30 because my vacation took a toll on my body. Like real bad. Like I gained five  eight pounds of pure food. Yes, I enjoyed my vacation but I came back a bloaty mess - pants didn't fit right, I was uncomfortable in my own skin, etc. Imagine my joy in seeking refuge in Whole30, Round 2.

I was excited, motivated, and ready to see a change in my body. Ready to embrace the idea that I wouldn't get to drink for 30 days, eat anything like ice cream or cake pops or fruity beverages....I was okay with all of that. I was ready. 

And then, it all went downhill. Day Four came around, and I was a huuuuuge you-know-what. I couldn't even look at someone without feeling the urge to kill them. It wasn't the best day, I'll tell you that.

Then Day 16. Tiger Blood? Nope. All I had to show for my midway point was more bloat, less foods I could eat and this overwhelming sense of failure. I had stuck to the rules, stuck to the ideas that I could only eat certain things and was staying mindful in my food choices. I was confused. I couldn't help but to be sad about the lack of change in my body.

Then Day 20. Still bloated.
21. Bloated again.
22. I bet you can guess how I felt.

So now, I'm on Day 29. I don't feel amazing, I don't feel like I have really changed physically, I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. The whole reason I did this the first time was to accomplish something and prove I could do it. Well, I proved it. And a few things this time around were different. Let me list the things I suggest you DON'T DO on a Whole30 for optimal results (and also note that I've extended my Whole30 for another 15 days. Whole45 to make up for all the stupid things I've done thus far).


1. I worked out 4x/week on this round. Last time, I maybe worked out five or six times max; I was less tired this time around which is good, but my body decided to compose my fat elsewhere (which was a little bit rude). This didn't hinder me, per say, but it is a reason I didn't get the same results as my first round.

2. Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks EVERYBODY! I snacked. I knew I wasn't supposed to. With a new work schedule, less time to plan, the old saying rang true: Failing to plan is planning to fail.

3. Fruit in all forms. My fruit intake was MUCH higher this time around and it wasn't until about Day 17 I stopped eating fruit. Within 24 hours, I had noticed a change in a lot of ways: my stomach didn't rumble, I was thirstier (duh), and I got rid of this weird stomachache I had going on.

4. Get depressed. I got really sad when I didn't see the results I wanted. I had to remember that I had to trust the process, that this was bettering myself in all forms, that what I want is a long-term solution to a problem that took me a week to make.

5. DO Surround yourself with people that love you and are willing to go through mood swings, outbursts, moments of vulnerability and when all you want is a cookie, someone to say "no way!" I noticed that I needed a lot of self affirmation during this round, and that I needed someone to also tell me I was doing things right. That I was pretty anyway.


Readers, I still stand behind Whole30 for anyone who wants to try.  That said, don't be an idiot like me. Thanks. :)

One Month Post W30

Hi Friends!

I wanted to update you a little on my life here on the blog, and also on what has happened in the last 30 days. It is incredible, the process I went through and how much I realized about myself.

Shortly after I finished Whole30, I almost died in the proverbial sense. I felt like I was run over by a truck (seriously, remind me why I never realized I felt this way) and I felt like I was ready to crawl into bed each and every day. My body didn't do a whole lot of fluctuating - I lost 9 pounds in my month and since yesterday, I've kept most of it off (plus or minus two pounds, people). What I have found super weird is that I'm bloating. Like, seriously bloated. Pants-don't-fit bloated. I didn't miss that feeling.

I've convinced M to do another round of Whole30 with me when we get back from vacation in a week or so. I'm excited because now that I have the first one down, I know I can do it and I'm incredibly excited to share this experience with him and with my dear readers! The next round I am going to focus more on what we eat, when we eat it and how we feel day to day. Less bitching, readers, more information....at least, I think that's what we are going for!

Until then, greetings from the west coast. We sure do love it here.

what does my tire and my stomach have in common?

Twenty Three, you guys. Twenty. Three. 

Now, I know it's been a few days, but I want to let you know I have NOT fallen off the bandwagon. I've made it, the last few days, even with all the things going on in my life. I'm not going to lie - today I wanted to seriously drink some wine, scotch, disaronno, etc. Anything. Maybe even actual grape juice. I wanted chocolate - but I knew it was coming from my emotions and not my belly. Now, I know that this is only supposed to be about the Whole30, but sometimes I think that we are human and need to talk about our lives. Plus, this life is too crazy to even make up. Let's start with...ummm, well, I don't know. Last night!

So, last night I was driving around OKC, just hanging out, living the dream, driving on 235 South. Let me set the stage: 10:30 pm, it's dark out. A little windy, but no rain in sight. Jake Owen on the radio. The on-ramp I want to take is blocked because of construction. No big, I'll take the detour. I take the detour which, if you ask me, should also be closed for construction. I hit a pothole (or something in the road, it is hard to say in the dark), feel my car jump in the air and skid to a stop. I put the car in park, obviously, and there was this weird grinding noise (more on that later) so I wasn't sure if I was supposed to jump out of my car and check for fire or not. When I got out, and sensed impending doom, I ran over to my right side and saw this:

So...that's not just a flat tire. That's a hot-ass-mess.

I do what any normal being would do - checked my trunk for my spare and my jack. Apparently, I'm the last person to realize that my Kia didn't come with a spare tire. It comes with a bubble-wrapped inflator and a PSI reader. In this situation, I did not have a need for either one of those things.

So, Triple A said they wouldn't bring me a tire, but they would tow my car. Well shoot. I don't know where anything is but OK. Tow my car, let's do it! I'm sitting there just laughing at the irony of this, knowing M is at work late, doing his thang, slanging his players, and I'm over here stranded on the side of the road. Of all days, it has to be the first day of free agency. Good thing I had my taser!

I tow my car to a Firestone and go on my merry way to bed. No big. I go back to my Kia today to give the people my key and they tell me to go home and they'll call me with a prognosis.

Apparently my axel tore out of my transmission. I need a new wheel. The car is undriveable. The wiring has been chewed by dogs. My airbags won't deploy. I don't have a car. All this and I still can't have a glass of wine?! 

To keep this long story from getting out of control, I spend 45 minutes on the phone with my insurance who tells me that if the cost of the car repairs is 60% of my car's worth, it's considered totaled. Right now, I'm hovering very close to that number. Well....we won't count on the total but in my  mind, I just don't know why I would want to put more money into that damn thing. 

So. What does this have to do with Whole30? Well, I realized today that I was driving past places I would never, in the real world, want to eat at. For some reason, Panera, scones at Starbucks, fried chicken (really?!) and soda. I can't even. I realized though, that it was because I was feeling emotional and wanted to curb it. I didn't give in, and instead ate my usual diet of eggs, broccoli, sweet potatoes, veggies, what have you. I am so incredibly thankful for Whole Foods. 

TODAY. Today I had a non-scale victory. I have been feeling a little discouraged with my progress on Whole30 because I haven't lost weight. I know it doesn't happen to everyone, and I also didn't eat terribly beforehand. I have been feeling pretty down on myself and its not like my pants fit any better - I just hate wearing pants anyway. Dresses are much better. I decided to bite the bullet and try on some of my cocktail dresses from college. To be clear: I haven't been able to wear those since college, and even then it was questionable. 

It was a moment for me. A definite victory. It feels really good to know that even if I'm not feeling the best, and even when I can't tell if this is doing anything for me, I can try this on and it'll fit! Yay!

day twenty three, turn down for what?!

whoooaaaa, we're halfway there...

Sometimes, I do think I'm livin' on a prayer. 

But hey, all Jon Bon aside, today is the halfway point of the Whole30! I've made it fifteen whole days on this! Wahoo!! The rest has to be a cakewalk, right? Right. Let's recap the last few days.

Yesterday I was knocked on my ass by this sickness that I got last week...it. was. terrible. I knew I had been tired lately, and I just couldn't get motivated to work out or really get up in the mornings no matter how much I slept. After a couple weeks of this, combined with the beginning of Whole30, I put my body in some sort of shock that made it impossible to attack this sickness. After spending Sunday in bed, I feel a ton better. I ended up going to work today and by the end of the day I felt pretty good. Definitely the most bright eyed and bushy tailed that I've felt in a very long time. I'm excited to see what I feel like tomorrow morning.

Today I had an interesting day. I wasn't hungry for the majority of the day - breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) held me over until lunch (lettuce wraps + red pepper + apple + larabar) and I was sated until dinner (chicken asparagus stirfry + bacon wrapped dates + blueberries). But I just couldn't stop thinking about food. I wanted to eat all day. I can't figure out if its because I'm actually missing nutrients here or if I'm just replacing my energies in eating crap into eating the crappiest whole food I can find. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I know that this is a problem I'm trying to solve anyway. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. I just have to focus myself in the last 15 days to make great choices, continue on the path, and see where I'm at in 15 days. 

On a kind of related note, I made bacon wrapped dates today. OMG. so good. I can't get enough of these and I'm pretty sure I'm going to put myself into a coma eating all this goodness. All I did was cut bacon strips into thirds, pit my dates, and wrap them up! In the oven, 375 for 20 minutes (flip after ten) and the goodness comes out. If you haven't made them yet, please stop reading immediately and make these now. If you have, and you don't like them, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. They are in my fridge, calling my name, saying "eat me, eat me" and it's getting really hard to say no. Argh. Whole30 is really killing me. Who would have thought I wanted to eat bacondates 15 days ago? Not I. Not I. 

13? Already?

This can't be right! Have I already arrived at and completed Day 13? 

Why yes, dear readers, I have. 

Here I am, alive and ready to tell today's tale. It starts with a young twenty something (six) year old opening her eyes at 6:50, deciding it was too much work to get up and promptly rolling over. 

It starts, yet again, at 10:30 (much more appropriate for a Saturday) when I open my eyes for the second time. I roll over, go to rub my eyes and feel like I got punched in the left one.  My throat feels like I've swallowed nails, my body aches and I can't tell if I'm hot or cold - just that I'm not well. Being sick is the worst, and I'm almost positive I don't have strep, but a weird strand of the common cold. Rude. 

I digress. Besides dealing with THAT, I'm also trying to move into a different apartment in a week, and trying to be proactive about packing. This means that I need to start the process YESTERDAY to be ready to move next weekend. Am I ready? No. This sickness has brought down every ounce of will I ever had to be a productive human being. At least I will now rest easy knowing that I will, yet again, look like a fool on moving day. Maybe inspiration will strike and I'll get all my moving done during the week..or maybe I'll continue napping and forget about that plan altogether. Time will tell, so stay tuned. 

Anyway, I feel super under the weather today. I hardly have the energy to move from bed to couch, and my eyes are tired and droopy. Against better judgment, I tried to push through it most the morning. You know where that got me? On the couch, exhausted and tired at 2 pm. Not even worth it. In the process of pushing through my sickness, I wandered around my apartment trying to figure out where exactly to get started when it came to packing. My goal is to pack most things I won't need all week, so when the time comes, all I have to do is pack up the last little pieces and call it good. This is the HOPE and GOAL. I did manage to pack up all of my cupboards minus my pyrex dishes and tupperware in my kitchen today which is a huge accomplishment. 

If you've spent any time with me ever, you know that the best place to find me is either in bed napping or in my kitchen. I posted this on instagram today, after realizing what exactly I had to pack - apparently my baking has been put on hold while I finish this W30. Fine with me, but I do miss finding ways to make my kitchen come alive in the interim. Sweet potatoes only excite me for so long. I couldn't believe that just 4 things of sugar and 3 things of flour was 30 pounds of pure nothing. Pure nothing that I would willingly make into something else before I started this process. I'm not saying that after W30 I plan to never bake again, but after realizing that most things we need are whole foods, I don't plan on buying any more flour or sugar that isn't...enriched, bleached, etc. End rant. Now just to perfect my pinterest pages until I run out of these ingredients! I need guinea pigs! Willing volunteers, please let me know. :]

Nothing new on the W30 front today - just hanging out, forcing myself to eat and drink a ton of water. We will see what happens in the back half of the W30! Hoping for some positive change in the next few weeks. Also looking forward to that glass of wine on day 31. 

orange is the new black.

Do you think if I eat too many sweet potatoes, I'll turn orange like people do with carrots? 

I hope not. 

This post has nothing to do with the TV show..sorry in advance. But since I got you here, please, keep reading! Let's have a real-life chat about Whole30. Let's just go there, and do it. 

Let's start at the timeline and see where the winds take us. Please keep in mind that I'm quarantined for the next 24 hours as I really DO have strep throat and I have talked to almost everyone I can possibly think of that will text or call me back. So...timeline, Day 12.

Days 12-15: Boundless energy! Now give me a damn Twinkie.

Hurray! The slump is over! Your pants fit again! Your energy levels are better than normal – you’re downright Tigger the bouncing tiger! But something weird is happening. You’re dreaming. Not crazy nightmare or strange surrealist dreams, either. Incredibly normal and realistic dreams – about donuts. Or Twinkies. Or Snickers.* In your mind, sometimes you get caught and feel guilty. Sometimes you just brazenly eat the contraband. But then, the feelings start following you into the waking hours. Suddenly, you’re craving things you don’t even like. (For me, it’s Diet Coke and Twinkies, for Melissa Hartwig, it was fast-food cheeseburgers!) Your co-workers’ heads transform into giant Girl Scout Cookies as you gaze on in disbelief. Seriously, you’ve almost hit the halfway mark, and now this?!

All joking aside, though, this phase gets really intense and for some people. This is the part of the program where our minds try to drive us back to the comfort of the foods we used to know. Our food relationships are deeply rooted and strongly reinforced throughout the course of our lives and breaking through them is really big deal. Journaling can be especially enlightening and helpful during this phase, and helpful for reflection later. Take some time to jot down what you’re craving, how you’re feeling and what tools you’re using to work through the cravings.

- See more here!

Okay people. I've had the cravings, I've had the dreams. None of that is happening right now. I've neglected to put on pants for fear that nothing has happened to me so I can't tell you if those fit or not. I have strep throat, so my energy levels are less than 12, and I haven't worked out on Whole30 because I've been so exhausted. It's actually been, a PHYSICAL nightmare more than emotional.  Don't get me wrong, I'm emotionally attached to food, but I find that emotional detachment works with whatever you apply it to. In this case, I applied it to the foods I liked and I figured out a way to not miss them so much. I still have Gatorade in my fridge, along with Dijon mustard, beer (thanks, Lindsay) and various wines, but I haven't thought of opening them, downing them, or found myself wandering to the kitchen while I should be sleeping. To be frank, I feel adjusted more or less. 

What concerns me is the lack of physical benefits I'm noticing. Since I haven't put on pants it kind of is hard to tell, but I don't think things are fitting better, and I got weighed at the doctors office and the scale hasn't budged (and don't tell me that the scale isn't the be all end all. Old habits die hard). I'm mad. I'm not sleeping better except for that one day which proved to be an anomaly, I don't feel better and I just feel like now I'm stuck in this weird food rut which is only changed from my regular food ruts by about four things. I just can't win. I know I'll feel better and less defeated in a few days, but I would really like to know when I start to feel amazing, start to feel awesome. I'd like to mention here that this is more than a weight thing-  I've been reading a lot of blogs and it seems like everyone is like, "my skin is clear! I am so full of energy! I love my life!" Umm I haven't cheated ONE TIME and I feel like hell, my skin never looked gross and I have zero energy and spend a lot of time napping. Someone please problem solve my life for me. 

Right now, it would be very easy to quit Whole30 and never look back; say it never worked for me. I can't rightfully do that until I go through the whole thing so....18 days to go. 

ONE THIRD!!

You guys, as I sit here, in the throes of day 10, my mind is blown. 

Not only have I actually made it 10 days without cheating, stopping, or getting bored of the foods I'm eating, I've (dare I say?) enjoyed the mental challenge this has made me face. Yesterday was TOUGH. Actually, the last 2 days were tough. I left you at the end of day 8 with a blog about how I couldn't sleep enough. 

Two hours later, I was wondering if I would ever sleep again. I guess my nap was so hardcore that my body decided that it would wait until about 2 am to fall back asleep. Although I was exhausted yesterday, I held out on napping after work, and instead started getting my life in order: cleaning my kitchen, sorting my laundry, etc. Ah, it felt good to be productive! I went to bed last night, read a little in Harry Potter, then passed out. I slept, without waking up, until 5:58 this morning and felt like a brand. new. person. 

I'm too pessimistic to say that the exhaustion is over, but dang, did it feel good to wake up without any aches and pains or tired eyes. The next step is (according to the timeline) the hardest to get over. For the next three days the timeline assumes that I will want to quit. Can I just say, right now, that last night I passed the time by googling Whole30 Failure? Yes, it was helpful in keeping my mind off the no-no cupboard I have, but at the same time, I felt the urge to have a glass of wine, or juice, or anything that wasn't water. Unfortunately for my taste buds, and fortunately for me, I refrained and went to bed instead. I woke up feeling great today, so I'm going to take it as a win! 

Today I'm meeting some out-of-town friends that I haven't seen since their wedding last summer. I am hoping to stay strong and not do anything that kills my hard work - because trust me, this is hard work - but I know in the end it is just up to me to say no.  

Brownies, Wine, and Candy, oh my.

 20 days to go! 

the last four days...

Last time we were together, dear reader, I was on day 3. Dreaming of food, thinking about food, cooking food, eating food. FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD. 

I just finished my last meal of the day (so I've officially completed day 7) and I want to recap my experiences thus far. I had a challenging weekend, but we will talk about that here in a nanosecond. So far, there have been a lot of interesting things happening inside my body. Don't worry, I'll explain in the most demure way. 

1. Fruit. Fruit seems to be the magical (new) demon. Can't have too much, for fear of replacing cravings with cravings, but unfortunately, as I learned in my traveling weekend, it is readily accessible at places like QT, and most the time, my only option. I ate a ton of fruit - or so it felt. It probably wasn't enough to take up a whole paragraph, but so be it. 

Whole Foods, however, really saved my life. Not only with their fruit selection (but also, amazing how you can buy fruit with coconut pieces in it. AMAZING)! 

2. Peer Support is SO HUGE. Listen, I've told people at work about it (some like to tease me about carbs and cheese!) but it's been a pretty positive experience there. When I went to OKC this weekend, I figured it would be difficult as M and I usually eat out, drink wine, have dessert, the usual. I told him I was going to do this Whole30 thing and didn't really go into detail, but when I was telling him what I could and couldn't have I had to laugh. "You can't have CHEESE? But why?!" "No cream in your coffee?!" "Just meat and vegetables?!" By the end of the weekend, he was on my level. Of course, when he ordered a cookie I gave him the death stare, but he was really great about making sure we went somewhere we could get something to eat that we could both enjoy or just eating at home (again, Whole Foods for the win). 

3. Sleep is..interesting. I'm back to talking in my sleep. Maybe I never stopped but it's one of those things: if a bear poops in the woods, does it count? No one is here with me during the week to see if I talk or not!  I fall asleep quickly, stay asleep longer, but my body is more tired than usual. I can't figure out what that's about, so hopefully it just stops soon. I'm pretty much over it. 

4. Speaking of sleeping, DREAMS are gettin' all sorts of funky. I had a dream last night I was eating everything. I started by telling myself no (real world situation right there) and then I tried talking myself into it (also real world). As the dream progressed, I had told myself it was okay to eat _____ and that since I already gave in and quit my Whole30 I should just keep eating. In my dream, I did. I was so sad and disappointed, until I woke up and the fact that I was asleep was confirmed! Dreams get funky, and you know the cravings are still there. 

5. I can't get enough sweet potatoes. 

6. Bloating and other ailments. So, when I read the timeline, it said I would get bloated. Sure, why not? It said maybe I'd have some issues passing my food through my intestines. Sure, why not? But when Thursday and Friday rolled around,  I was rounder than a beach ball and no chance of anything escaping. It was irritating, not to mention uncomfortable. Three days later I can look back and be grateful for restrooms and a boyfriend that thinks farts are funny, but it took a minute, and I wasn't sure if I would make it out alive. Best part about that was that I wasn't hungry, LOL! 

7. Looking forward to... a glass of wine when this is over with.....alongside my sweet potatoes! 

Confession...

I never finish anything these days. 

You guys, it is incredibly frustrating. I never commit and finish ANYTHING. My big accomplishment is going to work every day. Let's be honest, that's not a huge thing to be proud of. Most adults actually go to work each day, even if they work when they get there. I'm one of those people that just has lost all sorts of drive I guess, and I need to find that spark that gets me back to who I used to be - the person I enjoy. 

I tried to do that 100 Happy Days project (something I haven't necessarily given up on - it's still a pipe dream) and I made it about 23 days. Woo, big deal. I post IG pictures every day anyway, and I couldn't even finish that? Pathetic.

I was going to yoga for a while. Loved it. Then I missed a day and never went back. I still don't understand why.  

I then decided I was going to do crossfit. I finished the elements class, but Dana and I have yet to go to an actual class because we are too scared to go hang out with all the ripped people in there. Fail. 

I don't even put my dishes in the dishwasher until the day after. Gross. I know that one is a more obvious, normal one, but bear with me. I'm trying to prove a point. 

The point is, if you don't know already, that I have a hard time getting things done. Today, after I realized that I'm just not comfortable in my own skin and with who I am right now, I decided that I have to commit to something in my personal life and stick to it. Something that is good for my health, something that might inspire me and challenge me. Something that I can be proud of that I actually finished. Cue music. 

I'm going to try and do the Whole30 for real this time.

Back in January, I started to do the Whole30 and I was real quiet about it because I didn't want to do it just to do it (same reason I didn't go to nursing school). I didn't want to be part of the crowd that was in it for the resolution (but believe me, I was). In September, I was working out a lot and actually starting to look pretty good - I was okay with what I looked like, what I felt like and knew when I was choosing to eat poorly.

Some days, I come home and I don't know what happens. I just want to eat everything. Although I've stopped baking as much to cut back on temptation, I'm still not doing the best I can and I'm making excuses for myself. I make excuses because I get lazy, and in between the hours of 7 and 9 pm, if I'm not sleeping, I'm looking longingly into my kitchen for something to snack on. Those of you that have been with me through my blogs know that it has been very challenging for me to have a positive relationship with food. I'm hoping, through these thirty days, that I can reset my system, think clearly, not wake up with migraines because I don't have an IV full of coffee, and that I can emerge as a butterfly. Tomorrow marks day 1, and I know it won't be a challenge probably until Tuesday, day 4. Stay tuned, readers. I'm determined to finish this bitch. 

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday!

Wednesday through Sunday, here we go! I will be all caught up, and ready for another week of happiness! 

Wednesday, April 23

Today's Happy Day: Panda on Vacation

Days Left: 88

 

Panda got to have a mini-vacation when he stayed behind with my sister in Washington - he begged me to stay with her and have a vacation. I told him fine, on one condition: that he does his chores and he follows all of Lindsay's directions. 

So what do I get? A photo of him having a lie-in! He did not fold his laundry, did not unload the dishwasher, and DID NOT follow directions. See that frown? He's sad because I told him he couldn't go to the NASCAR race if the debauchery continues. Someone thinks he's entitled. 

Anyway, Panda is kind of a big deal in my family. He goes everywhere, and we pretend he's real. He takes great selfies!

Thursday, April 24

Today's Happy Day: Cat in a Box

Days Left: 87

I flew back from Dallas on United, with a big old box of prescription drugs. I had a note from a doctor on a prescription pad that told me not to check this box. I had to carry it on. Unfortunately, the box didn't really fit under the seat. The flight attendant was nice and said that she would let it slide, but I was determined for it to fit under the seat. 

After a 2 hour flight and a bumpy landing, the older gentleman I was sitting next to turned to me with a quizzical look on his face. I waited, and had to fight the urge to laugh when he asked me an interesting question: "Is your cat okay in there?" 

...I said yes. What else what I was supposed to say? This box was beat up, taped together with no air holes. If he thought a cat lived there, then so be it. 

Friday, April 25

Today's Happy Day: A Hint of Yellow

Days Left: 86

I'm breaking in these shoes for my friend Madeline's wedding, and with that comes the planning of outfits that involve yellow! 

We went outside for the first time in a long time on Friday, and my students were very excited to see that the flowers matched my shoes. They laughed and shouted, "Miss Newell! Miss Newell! Your shoes match the flowers!" 

Indeed. A bright spot in my dull, dull, Friday. After exhaustion, tireless students and one thing after another, it was nice to sit and watch my kiddos at recess. 

Saturday, April 26

Today's Happy Day: FaceTime.

Days Left: 85 

Dating a guy 5 hours away is hard enough, but when we get to see each other every weekend when we are super lucky, and every two weeks on a regular basis, there is a definite lack of, well, facetime. When we both work long hours, we have to rely on texts and the knowledge that we are both thinking about each other. 

Nights like last night, we got to FaceTime and watch the Thunder game together. I love watching basketball with M. He is so analytical where I'm over there like "oh wow, his ears are so small!" I'm sure he gets fed up with all my questions, or lack of knowledge I have on the sport already, but he is patient, kind and is willing to answer even my silliest question. 

Dear iPhone, you make long-distance relationships so much easier. Love, Sadie.

Sunday, FINALLY! April 27

Today's Happy Day: Dutch Babies

Days Left: 84

Not too long ago, my sister and my dad went down to my hometown to clean out my grandmother's house. It was time to put her in a home, and it was up to them to clean out her house before they could put it on the market. Both Lindsay and my dad asked if there was anything I wanted out of the house. I can honestly say that I hadn't been in there for so long I couldn't begin to request something. I told them that there wasn't anything in particular but I did want a small keepsake, like a china cup. 

Not only did my sister surprise me with three difference china bowls and cups, but she also handed over my grandmother's cast iron pan! For those of you that don't know, cast iron pans are like GOLD and best handed down - that way, they are seasoned and have a lot of history. Of course, my first thing to make was a Dutch Baby - a breakfast staple growing up, and something I have been missing dearly! 

Stay tuned this week for my next 7 posts - can't wait to see you on the happier side of life! 

hey, beyonce!

Today's Happy Moment is brought to you by Miss Sam Poelker's door decoration, and my beautiful sister, Lindsay.

Last week, when we were in Washington, M and I were talking to Lindsay about living in a trailer park and managing it for us. Big money in trailer parks, you see. She convinced us of a lot of things then, but my favorite was when she was discussing the finer points of living in what she calls a "fly trailer." Sidenote, my sister is not trashy and does not currently live in a park, but she's a badass that could definitely handle the clientele. Lindsay informed M and I that she would have the best trailer - one that was so flossy that when Beyonce came for tea, she would say, "Girl, your trailer is so fly!" 

I've never heard anything like it. Imagine my surprise, then, when I got close to Sam's fraction leprechauns that she had her class make. Of course, I couldn't help myself and had to text Lindsay a picture asking if this particular Beyonce would be invited for tea in her Tennessee Trailer. 

Today's Happy Day: Beyonce.

Days Left: 89

hoggin' up the road with my p-p-p-p-plower...

Today's Happy Moment truly made me laugh. It, again, was hard to choose. I had a wonderful day with my students, and we talked a lot about expectations in third grade. For some reason, they just love running down the hallway. It is INCREDIBLY frustrating. Regardless, we deal with it and move on.

Now, this afternoon I was really trying to get myself to the grocery store to make sure I was ready for the week and have a healthy plan in place (seriously, bikini season is coming and I am NOT READY). On my way there, I notice this guy just driving along the road on his LAWNMOWER. People, come on, this isn't something you see every day, not even in Kansas, but seriously, you could use the sidewalk and stop holding up the general public. What do I know, I don't own one!

Anyway, here's today's Happy Moment - feel free to check back for the weekend update!

Today's Happy Day: Man on a Mower

Days Left: 90! 

let me take a selfieeeee

Well, the time has come where I've displayed my love of the selfie. Embarrassed? Nahhh, it's all in a days work. 

Today's 100 Happy Days moment is brought to you by Starbucks, the most influential establishment when it comes to my teaching career. I need caffeine.. I NEED CAFFEINE. With Pajama Day being tomorrow...I may need DOUBLE caffeine to function. 

Either way, who doesn't love an americano before 7 am? I definitely do. 

Today's Happy Day: The Starbucks Selfie

Days Left: 95

View Instagram here, or add me @sadienewell!

baby beluga and the deep blue sea

Well, hello, and welcome to my newest installment of the #100HappyDays Challenge. 

Mini Update (after four days, I know, how pretentious):

I like this because every day I look forward to choosing my happy  moment. I think a lot about which moments I like the best and which I want to share - this one today, was an ending to a pretty happy day. 
My students just made me laugh today. Usually, I'm so concerned with unnecessary noises and weird things happening to my students or whispers that I don't take a step back just to watch them be kids. Today was one of those days where every time I looked up there was SOMETHING happening. 

I couldn't decide between this moment, a moment where I looked up during independent free play and watched a kid legitimately fall over (tried to catch himself and everything), or the moment of fun water bottle games in the hallway. I couldn't decide if mastery of quotation marks was happy enough, or if grading themselves on a writing rubric counted. 

In the end, I chose the quick photo of me holding a ton of programs for our school concert, featuring Baby Beluga. It was one of those moments where I looked around, realized that we all had been at school for over 12 hours, managed behaviors and taught first and second graders for the majority of that time, and all had smiles on our faces. We all sang along with the kiddos, watched them run up and down the hallways, dressed down and laughing. Sometimes it is so hard to get lost in our jobs - how hard they are, stressful, how much time our job gets vs the rest of our lives, but moments like today really do show me that even though one of my students dropped the F-bomb a few times, or a little girl was so sick she was crying...there's happiness everywhere, as long as we look for it. Until tomorrow, readers! 

Today's Happy Day: Program Queen of UA

Days Left: 96

View Instagram here, or add me @sadienewell!

Because I'm Happyyyyyy...

Hello again!

You know, what I really like about this "challenge" is that I get to pick and choose which moment to share. Today was really difficult - there were so many moments I wanted to share. A kiddo losing his tooth, my students all working diligently during guided reading time, the best lunch ever, wherever I went today, I saw so many opportunities to share my happiness. Today though, was one of my favorites.

One of my students, S, went home sick today. After mildly complaining all morning (and this girl, although a complainer, is more of the stomp-around-and-roll-my-eyes type) and looking MISERABLE, I finally sent her to the nurse. Although she felt cool, homegirl had a temp and was on her way back to bed at home.

We were out of our classroom when she left so she came to find me - but she left me a present that was the most ADORABLE thing ever. There are times where I just love my job and marvel in my students. She really makes me appreciate my work and what I'm trying to do with my students every day. Also, I love presents on my desk!

Today's Happy Day: University Academy Charter
Days Left: 97

Washington Weather

It's no secret I miss my hometown, and today was a day unlike any other. I tried to go to a play today, but there was a shooting at the Jewish Community Center. Tried to get brunch today, but there was an hour wait...you know, usual things that would make me at least a little put out (okay, okay, the shooting actually just SCARED me, not put me out) were put from my mind because of the weather today.

Today's Happy Day: The View from my Couch
Days Left: 98
View Post Here! With snow on the forecast for tomorrow, I reveled in the storm today. FaceTime with my favorites, dozing in and out of sleep...there's something so relaxing about having an excuse NOT to get off the couch! Although I'm sure, in the end, I'll look back and say to myself, "Sadie, you should have worked out today," I am perfectly content with the fact that I did not, and that I got to watch the lightning streak the sky instead. Happy Sunday, everyone!