5 Reasons Why I Quit Whole30

Readers,

It has taken me a lot of pride-swallowing courage to write this post, but I think it needs to be done. Those who know me well will agree that when I go silent, something generally tends to be wrong. I don't voice things and I let them die a slow, sometimes painful death. Today, I'm owning up to the fact that I quit Whole30...and I'm not sorry.

I have successfully finished a collective 130 days of Whole30. Some days were easier than others, some days I really felt awesome. Some days, I wanted to off myself and everyone around me. Sound familiar?


So why did I quit? See below.

Reason #1: Although it is effective, it was not sustainable. 
This has nothing to do with the holiday season and has everything to do with living life. I wanted, and insisted that I resume my life while I committed to Whole30. Unfortunately, as everyone knows, that can take a hit on your social life. My social life was non-existent. I was also really sick of chicken. For me, this isn't a sustainable way to live.

Reason #2: I did it for all the wrong reasons. 
We embarked on Whole30 round 2.5 for a variety of reasons, but one in particular: we didn't feel like we ate well the previous week. Instead of not feeling guilt and accepting that we hit a setback, we went extreme and decided to Whole30 our lives away. This was not to reset our systems, this was something that we did to, essentially, punish ourselves. It wasn't a good way to start and since we weren't in the right mindset, we grew tired of the rules and boundaries - it wasn't effective.

Reason #3: I felt different. 
This time around, I committed to working out four times a week. Often, especially in power yoga, I felt dizzy, not focused and lightheaded. Due to the lack of nutrients, I think, or the amount I was eating. I did change my diet a bit - added more fats and more starchy carbs, drank a ton of water but nothing helped. It wasn't until I relaxed my diet that I felt strong and capable again instead of waif like. I realize that the program states the benefit of using fat as fuel, and it takes a while for your body to adjust, that we should eat what is natural to our bodies. I also realize that each body is different and I cannot deduce if my body works well using only a few things as fuel. I'm sure there is some scientific evidence in there somewhere to refute my theory.

Reason #4: I wasn't sleeping. 
I don't know if this is related, but once I went off W30 and started listening to my body, I have been sleeping like a little swaddled infant.

Reason #5: I had to choose what was healthy. 
I have struggled a LOT with body weight, image and food in general. The first time I did Whole30, it freed me from a lot of the emotional feelings I still attached with food. When I remove those triggers, I realize that I am in a much better place while eating regardless of what it is. I have learned when my body is full, learned what my body reacts to positively and what it does not, and I also understand that for me, it isn't healthy to box myself into foods that don't work for me. I don't have a gluten intolerance, I don't have a sustainable-sourced dairy intolerance, and my body is in shape. It wasn't working and I'm okay with recognizing that.

Now. All of that aside...
I do feel great. I feel like I can make it through an hour of yoga. My body is getting stronger and I feel comfortable in my skin. I think that it is important to note what I've added into my diet to complement what I did with Whole30:

• more starchy veggies
• cheese (sourced locally, from WF)
• honey as a sweetener
• yogurt (greek)

The list is not long, and it doesn't seem crazy, but this is something that works for me. By adding a few things into my diet, I feel balance. I don't feel guilty about the foods I eat and I let myself indulge without guilt. To me, these are the important things in life. Not how many days I can go without a glass of wine, or how many people ate cheese and I didn't. 

Hats off to you, readers! Thanks for following me in this journey. It isn't over, but it is about to take a turn....

Shopping Bill Fever

It's time for the best game in the world!

BEAT! THAT! PRICE!

Last week, we did a really awesome job coming in under budget because of my awesome finds but mostly because we didn't buy anything at Sprouts. The protein we eat is far too important to skimp on, and I refuse to buy it anywhere but Whole Foods. Why, do you ask? 

I refuse to buy meat product if I can smell it at the counter. 

Being a fisherman's daughter has taught me a few things, and one of which is this: if you can smell it, buy something that is a little bit fresher. With that being said, this also means I refuse to buy meat that has been frozen for long periods of time or that has been in the refrigerator section. I go strictly to the counter. I also really like the people that work behind the counter and often make friends this way. 

Before we move on, you need to know the price to beat! 

Last week's price: $148.49

The week before: $194.95

Remember, the goal is to do Whole30 as cheaply as possible (within reason, as I just stated my meat-snobbiness level).

First Stop: Sprouts

Total Cost: $54.50

This was actually my second stop. A new grocery store opened up across the street : a Natural Grocers. I stopped in to compare prices. Sorry, not interested in buying things that cost less AT WHOLE FOODS.  

As you can see, there was a  need for kitchen staples this week. 

1. Dijon Mustard and Coconut Oil
2. Onion, Garlic and Sweet Potatoes
3. 5 pounds carrots
4. 3 pounds brussels sprouts
5. 1.6 pounds mushrooms
6. 6 pounds apples
7. 4 bell peppers
8. Spinach
9. 1.7 pounds green beans
10. Plantain Chips (I like these for the crunch: they  make my heart happy!) 

Not bad for about 20 pounds of veggies! 

Next Stop: Whole Foods

Total Cost: $172.49 (yiiiiikes!) 

Woof. I about keeled over with pain at the register. I knew it would be expensive but I didn't know how much. The joy of coming in under $60 at Sprouts is that I'm getting better there, but to my previous statement of being meat-snobby, I just can't skimp here. With that, my game plan changes. I try to stick with cuts of meat that are on sale and can easily be made for two people + leftovers. 

I also bought some veggies here. When the weather changes, so does store inventory, and the inventory at Sprouts can be questionable. 

1. Kerrygold butter (I make my own ghee.) on sale!
2. Asparagus (2.2 lbs)
3. Bananas (3.12 lbs)
4. Red Grapes 
5. Cranberries
6. Lemons
7. Avocados

For the meats:

1. 18 eggs
2. Pork Sausage 2 lbs @ $5.99/lb
3. Pork Shoulder 4.7 lbs @ $3.99/lb
4. Beef Shoulder 2.58 lbs @ $4.49/lb
5. Beef Short Ribs 3.28 lbs @$6.99/lb
6. Diced Chicken 2 lbs @ $7.99/lb
7. Ground Beef 1.5 lbs @ $4.99/lb
8. Thick Cut Pork Chop 3.05 lbs @ $4.99/lb

I don't know what I was thinking. NINETEEN pounds of meat for two of us for the week. I will say, I went shopping on Saturday, so I had to plan for that dinner which equaled an extra meat. Other than that, we average 3 pounds a meat for a 24 hour period between four meals. I guess that makes sense. Whatever, all I know is that we look good, feel great and eat healthily sourced protein. With 24 items, we averaged $6.63/item. That's an odd I'll take. 

This Week's Total:$227

Much higher than last week's total of $148.

Stay tuned for next week's installment of Shopping Bill Sunday! 

A Note on Wellness....

Something I forgot, when embarking on my third Whole30, is that there are more components than just eating. Whole30 was actually built into what Dallas and Melissa Hartwig dubbed the "Whole9." The nine components of life that, when in harmony, make someone whole and happy. I like the style of the Hartwig's message, and after realizing that Whole30 has actually healed my emotional struggle with food, I knew that I had to delve deep into Whole9.

When I set out on this endeavor, I knew that Whole30 would work and I wanted to see some better results. I set goals:

1. Exercise at least 4x/week
2. No Snacks! 
3. No Cheats!
4. Whole30: Ballin' on a Budget Style.

I look at my goals now, as we are approaching the halfway point. I am really big on reflecting, and want to share this with you. Goals are really important. I don't think anything can happen without goalsetting. If we aren't always striving to be our best selves, then what is the point of being? 

I need to remember that I cannot just say, "oh yeah, I'm doing all those things!" I have to cross-check. Here come the Whole9 Principles, bolded where I am lacking:

1. Eat Good Food (check: Whole30)
2. Sleep Deeply
3. Move Your Body
4. Handle Your Stress
5. Connect With Others 
6. Get Outside
7. Be The Best You
8. Have Some Fun
9. Own Your Choices

Sleeping deeply is something I have struggled with for the last two years. It isn't something that comes easy to me anymore, and it is something I am oftentimes trying to overcompensate for. This has been remediated in nightguards, a root canal, and no caffeine after noon, but I'm still not perfect. Unfortunately, this is not due to anything inside my locus of control, so for now, I wait. 

 

Connecting with Others. I moved to OKC recently, and immediately started work. I pick my friends wisely; I don't like professional and personal lives getting intertwined too much, and I also don't like drama. I prefer to surround myself with people that are passionate, extroverted and well-traveled and read. Unfortunately, when my social life is lacking, so is that department of my life. I am working on this one; joining a yoga studio, branching out into the community, and these things take time. The first step is admitting, right?

In Oklahoma, getting outside isn't exactly the easiest thing to do, and sometimes, when you are outside, there isn't a whole lot TO do! The weather is about to turn, but this doesn't stop us from walking to our favorite Whole30-friendly breakfast place (probably not what the Hartwig's have in mind here) and oftentimes try to breathe that fresh questionable Oklahoma air. 

I realized this week, while pushing myself professionally (being the best me!) that when one ninth of my life is out of balance, the rest of my life becomes hectic and seems out of control. I didn't work out four times this week; if I work out tomorrow and Sunday I'll make it, but it hasn't happened organically. I am proud of the progress I am making, but I know that I can always improve. 

So, readers, my lesson today is this: It does not matter how much we push our bodies and minds. At the end of the day, we need to find that balance to be our best selves and live our best lives. 

For more info on Whole9, click here.

Tune in tomorrow for some food pics, What's In My Fridge, and some other exciting Whole30 things! 

Day 8?

Hi Readers!

I feel like we have been doing whole30 for so long it kind of doesn't feel like it anymore. The days blend together, the dinners roll on by, and the tupperware needs to be washed almost daily. You all know.

The best part about doing whole30 on and off since May is this:

1. My body is responding quickly. Kill all the things just didn't happen! 
2. Workouts are easier (and actually happening. Remember round one, readers?)!
3. Morning wake ups. I'm a bear in the morning. I habitually snooze for as long as humanly possible (contract time is 8, I get out of bed at 6:50) and do minimal things to get ready. Today, I SHOWERED BEFORE WORK! This happens probably twice a year and it is usually planned in advance. Not today! I'm sleeping well, soundly, through the night. I love it! 

I realized that this time has been easier because we have had whole30 dinners regardless of our diets, and have just added a few things here and there: me, white wine, M some sort of beer. We indulge in things we miss like Whiskey Cake (made of dates) but nothing that is just pure sugar or gluten. It is amazing the difference in how we behave and feel about ourselves when those things are out of our diet. 

iPhone cameras just really get it done. pffft.

Now is the part I show you all my dinners because they've been amazing. 

One Problem....

sometimes I am too hungry and forget. 

Saturday: I don't know what we had. It was so long ago! We may have gone somewhere? 

Sunday: 

1. roasted green beans
2. stuffed peppers (with lamb, homemade taco spice, and rando veggies like onion and garlic and carrots). 
3. half an avocado - that stuff was so spicy it was a nice palate cleanser! 

I also made applesauce on Sunday - which is clearly becoming a new ritual. If I knew how easy it was, I would have done it a long time ago. It is definitely cheaper than buying it, and I know exactly what is in my applesauce: apples! 

This is how to make applesauce:

peel, core and chop apples. 

place in crockpot with 1/4c water.

set on high for 1 hour, low for 5.

stir every once in a while.

ta-daaaa!!

Applesauce is the best. This actually is the closest I've come to eating my grandma's recipe-  when she passed, so did her applesauce, as far as I know. This makes my heart (and belly!) happy! 

Monday:

1. Salmon (I had WF cut up a fillet into thicker cuts - it lends for a juicier, meatier fish)
2. Ratatouille 

I found that if I sprinkled my salmon with lemons and cumin, it made this incredible flavor. Call me the Giada of the northwestern region! 

Also, if you've never made ratatouille, it is probably THE EASIEST thing in the world to make. Just make sure your veggies are thin. You can find the inspirational recipe I used at the Passionate Parsley! Her's looks much prettier than mine, I can promise you that. 

M really liked this dish. ...These days, he likes everything though, so it may  have been an un-truth! 

Tuesday:

Today, I got a little ambitious, found a recipe online and decided to try it out. I generally come up with foods in my brain and then totally do my best, but there are some things so outrageous that I cannot even fathom thinking of myself. This dish is one of them. 

The Pumpkin Chicken Pot Pie from Perchance to Cook is probably one of the best things I've ever ingested. I don't like pumpkin (or so I thought) and I don't really like chicken (at all) but M does. When the two flavors came together, it was like marriage in a bowl. Seriously, go try it. 

I love the way the recipe was laid out; it was easy to follow and it was done sensically. This one started with boiling chicken - and then it was a busy 40 minutes to get this thing into the oven! I'll say though, it is WELL worth the effort. Try it today! Also, her picture is much prettier than mine. :)

I know it was long, but now I'm caught up - so hello, have fun looking at these photos and always feel free to ask any questions! We are seasoned whole30 professionals over here. 

Need recipe inspiration? Everything on my JERF Pinterest Board is tried and true - with only some minor tweaks! Happy cooking, dear readers! 

Shopping Bill Sunday

Okay, readers, welcome to our super fun post about what we bought and for how much! It is kind of like Price is Right, but the only prize to be won is money we didn't spend, wahoo!

This Week's Price to Beat: $194.95

It's going to be a close call! 

First up: Sprouts.  

Total Cost: $25.74

We didn't need much; a lot of our veggies from last week still have yet to be eaten, so this was a really quick trip. 

1. Blackberries were on sale for .99 each. I got 4 with plans to freeze. It's going to be a long, fruitless winter, friends. 
2. Honeycrisp Apples. I actually didn't buy that kind and now I'm a little peeved! I bought Concord apples for $1.49 but ended up paying the price for Honeycrisp. Check your receipts, people! These are now bubbling away in my crockpot, making applesauce. 
3. Sweet Potatoes. Enough said, who doesn't like to eat them?!
4. Coconut Aminos. Seriously swappable for soy sauce. I can't tell the difference and I have one picky palate. 

Let's move on to our next stop! 

Next Stop: Whole Foods

Total Cost: $122.75

I was almost sad when I got to the register because I thought I spent more than I did last week and was trying to beat my price. ...upon further inspection, I did spend more than last week, womp womp. 

1. Engine 2 Pasta Sauce. This stuff is one of the few in WF that doesn't have sneaky sugar added. You can't find this at Sprouts, and I needed two of them today! Worth the $5.99. Ingredients: whole tomatoes, carrot puree, diced onions, sweet potato puree, tomato paste, water, basil, diced garlic, garlic puree, spices, sea salt.  
2. Coconut Milk. We use a lot of this. 
3. Beef Roast: 4 big pounds! We love eating a crockpot meal once a week that's less prep for me, and can last us a couple days. Usually I try to stick between 1-3 pounds of meat, but this will get eaten. 
4. No Sugar Bacon, 10 ounces. It's a staple. 
5. Ground Lamb, 85/15: 1.5 pounds
6. Breakfast Pork Sausage (HOT!): 1.5 pounds
7. Chicken Breast: 1 pound. It's for an experimental recipe this week! 
8. Rosemary 
9. Crunchy Red Grapes
10. Atlantic Salmon: 2 pounds. 

This Week's Total: $148.49

I WIN! 

Round 3, Days 5 and 6

As I sit here, listening to Taylor Swift's new album, I realize that I haven't blogged in the last three days because I didn't want to seem disappointing! Well, we all have those weeks of disappointment, right? This one was mine.

Post root-canal, my eye started to feel really sore. By Friday, when I woke up, I looked like I was punched in the face. I felt terrible, my eye was all crusty and I wasn't feeling it. Oddly enough, my teeth, gums and mouth all felt great! I called my dentist after googling eye swelling after root canal and seriously thought I was going to die. He told me I was fine and that it could be related but also wasn't common. Tell that to google, Dr. H. 

Throughout the day it got increasingly worse, and I insisted it wasn't a stye. M finally told me Saturday morning that it was, and it was so developed at that time you couldn't deny it. I started heating my eye - at this point I couldn't see and it was hard to open my eye. I looked like a pirate all day, but hey, it finally went away. Moral of this story: when this happens, the last thing you want to do is cook, clean, or be a real person. 

Unfortunately, we didn't have leftovers this week. LIKE AT ALL. Between me not feeling like cooking a whole chicken (I put it in the freezer for later) and not really planning to feel terribly for three days, dinner was a little interesting. Add in there 3 very late nights (go thunder!) and the season opener last night....all bets were off when it came to dinner. Why did I waste your time with this story?

I'm reminding you that whole30 doesn't always have to look perfect to BE perfect. 

Although we had a lot on our plates (proverbial!) we still managed to get healthy food into our bodies, save time to work out, and make great life choices. This doesn't have to be difficult, I promise. 

So, what did happen? 

For breakfast, we went to our usual place, Kitchen 324. I wish I could plug them more than just in a short blurb. We go there every week, and the same girl (Trinity) serves us every week. It's so great to get to know the people in our community, eat food that has been prepared for us, to our specifications, and with a smile. I love Kitchen 324, and their menu is really easy for us to manipulate. We generally get the same thing every time:

• a side of extra crispy bacon
• green eggs and ham without the english muffin 
• COFFEE

the green eggs and ham is amazing. It has arugula, two poached eggs, prosciutto and a side of potatoes. NOM.

We ate late, and lunch didn't really exist. We had the basketball game to go to last night so M left before me, and had some grapes, short ribs (that were so good that pictures weren't taken fast enough and I lost out) and some brussels sprouts. I had some veggies with my girlfriend Lauren before the game and ended up STARVING later last night. 

Friday wasn't much different. M worked late, I took a 4 hour nap after work...we just looked in the fridge for food. I had put the short ribs in the crock pot that morning, so veggies were the only things we actually needed to find. 

This week, my goals are to actually you know, be productive. 

I did, however, work out 4 times this week, I have been feeling awesome and great AND my pants are fitting! I am glad to see progress this time around pretty quickly. 

I have a lot more to say, but I'll save it for another post here shortly. I'll sign of for now, and make you wait for my Food Waste Friday, Shopping Bill Sunday, and WIMF (what's in my fridge) this week!  

Round 3, Day 3/4

Hi Friends! Here we are again, isn't this romantic?! 

We have to stop meeting like this. 

(wait, I invited you.)

Happy Halloweve! I hope you all have fun and safe plans with a pretty rockin' costume to go with it. Me? I am spending my day with kids and then coming home to not partake in the magic. This is the last year we can get away with zero trick-or-treaters and we can hang out sans costume. Plus, I'm not one for big parties or group activities. 

So, where was I yesterday? Rude. You could ask with a less accusatory tone, you know. But if you MUST ask, I didn't blog yesterday but had a good reason! 

If you are my friend on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you may already know. For those of you that haven't jumped on the social media train and found me yet, you are living under a rock. Yesterday I had a pretty epic dentist appointment, where I was scheduled for a root canal. I've been a nightime/daytime/allthetime grinder since a young age, and it finally caught up to me. Even wearing a nightguard didn't stop the process of recession and whatever happens when you need a root canal. This girl, never had a cavity, and all of a sudden I need a root canal? The world is an unfair place. 

But wait. Not only did I need one, I actually needed TWO. Of course. Apparently my nerve damage was spreading, and to stop the infection, both teeth needed to be sealed. Whatever, I have insurance for a reason. What was interesting to me is that I have been battling pretty substantial headaches the last six-eight weeks. Terrible, worse than not having coffee headaches. I went to my PCP, and he told me to stop drinking coffee. I did, nothing happened. I swear to you, I get my root canal filled (last week, this week I got it all prettied up) and no more headaches. It was instantaneous. I cannot believe it worked out that way, but I am happy to live with the lights on, music turned up and children laughing in my ear. It is a much better way to live! 

Because my teeth had rods all up in there and I can't chew on that side of my mouth, my dinner looked super awesome and tasty. Let me just describe it for you:

• bowl of rasperries
• bowl of applesauce (homemade. it was amaze)
• tiny pieces of pork cut up by M, so I could choke down some protein. 

I am surprised that my teeth feel pretty okay today: no pain, really and no sensitivity. Most of all, no headaches. 

I woke up today expecting to be uber cranky, like shark-week cranky, and although it took forever to convince myself to get out of bed, once I was up I was good to go. Breakfast was a piece of the salmon/asparagus casserole (not a fan) and lunch was a brussel sprout salad and turkey salad from a few days ago. 

Then the workout. I'm going to take a minute to plug an app I am a huuuuge fan of: PumpUp. I usually don't do this but I like to find things that work for me and then share. Sharing is caring. PumpUp is really neat - it tracks your progress in a few different ways: amount of time spent working out, weight and also how much weight you use when lifting weights.

I like pretty intense workouts but never really know what to do with weights. I use this app and tell it what I want to work out, if I want to do interval training, cardio and an abs circuit and then it makes me a workout. Simple as pie. Yes, I add to it, or superset, but it gets me up and moving and burning those calories that are so desperately clinging onto my body.
It tells you how to do the exercise if you aren't sure, and it also tells you when to break and when to go. The calorie count is WAY OFF (I use a heart rate monitor and can generally double the amount burned) but it is a neat resource that I really like using. If you are unsure what to do in the gym and don't want to look like it, use the app! I have definitely gotten stronger since using it and I always break a sweat. It isn't easy!

By the time I got back to my apt and ready for dinner, I was almost hangry. Unfortunately, when you wake up at 6:50 and usually leave the house by 7:20, the crockpot doesn't always get done. That was today. M is working late so I'm on my own, and all I could think of was to get some food out of the fridge before Food Waste Friday!

I ate:

four eggs
half of that asparagus
avocado
3 pieces no sugar bacon
....then I was full and couldn't finish.

I packed up that salad and the rest of the asparagus for another day. Probably tomorrow. 

Okay, readers, that's it for today!

 Happy Halloweve and 

GO THUNDER! 

Round 3, Day 2.

Day 2! We are here! 

28 to go! 

So far, there is nothing new to report. We had a super busy day, leaving the house at 7:30a and not getting home and into our cozies until 7:45p. Unfortunately, it is just that time of year, ya hear me? 

Needless to say, I get off work much sooner than M. Usually, he comes home between 6:30 and 9:00, depending on the day and how much he has to do. I don't know how he does all of that, manages a ton of our personal life with this house, and also finds time to work out! Come to think of it, he probably doesn't live tweet his job (and that takes up more time than one may think)! Follow my day-to-day things I hear from students here! 

I left work today, came home, read a little in this book which I'm totally into. I try to read one good-for-you book every three fictional books (gotta start somewhere) and I am finding that this one is a pretty easy read and totally applicable to my life. I need to start realizing that I deserve to be compensated for the work I am doing and become a better negotiator. I think I can work on that! 

I digress from the original reason I started this post: Day 2. 

So far, no symptoms, no cravings, no hangover...I worked out yesterday and today and they were both pretty productive. I haven't crashed midday, still drinking coffee...the usual, friends. Maybe soon I'll start to feel the detoxing process but so far, nahhhhh. 

What did we eat today? 

Quality Photo brought to you by iPhone. 

Breakfast: see yesterday's post.

Lunch: see yesterday's dinner. 

Dinner: OH MAN, SO GOOD! What was it? I thought you'd never ask! 

• Baked Sweet Potato (rubbed in ghee, salt/peppered and thrown straight into the oven on the rack. 450 degrees for 50 minutes, OMG SO GOOD).
• Raw Brussels Sprout Salad with Bacon and Tessa Mae's Black Pepper Dressing. Easy enough. Just ran the BSprouts through the food processor and rinsed! 
• Picnic Roast (aka pork shoulder) in the crockpot! I used the rest of my bone broth to give it some liquid and today it smelled delicious in here when I got home! 

Round 3, Day 1

Good evening, my dear friends!

Today marked Day 1 of round three. I wish I had something exciting to report, but it has been pretty simple and straightforward here. I rolled out of bed after having 2 weeks off, walked into the bathroom bleary eyed and took my before photos. I missed that mark for round 2, and wanted to make sure I got them in today. Looking back at those photos, I am excited to see progress from this time last year, but also feeling a little unenthusiastic about what I have to do to make that last push for progress.

M and I decided we would get up early three times a week and do cardio together; we both hate it, and often lift weights and do other workouts separately anyway. This gives us a chance to really make sure we are holding each other accountable and getting it in. I hate cardio like I hate poverty, you guys.

I promised a few things to you, readers so I will start delivering!

This week's grocery bill. On the left, you have our Sprouts bill - $67.55 for all our veggies. Beans, Spaghetti Squash, Raspberries, Apples, Broccoli, Lettuce, Brussels, Cauliflower, Butternut Squash, Acorn Squash, Zucchini, Sweet Peppers, Onions, Sweet Potatoes, Eggplant, Lemons, Garlic, Tomatoes, Arugula, Avocado. I eat all meals from home and this round M is eating at least 2 meals so I loaded up.

Whole Foods is solely for things I forgot at Sprouts or things that didn't look good plus protein. I refuse to get my protein from a place where I can smell it while shopping (ie, Sprouts) so I am okay with spending the extra cash on quality meats. This week we bought:

1. 2 lbs of pork sausage
2. 2 lbs ground turkey
3. 36 eggs
4. 3 lb whole chicken
5. 2.5 lbs pork shoulder
6. 10 oz sugar free bacon
7. 2 lb ground beef
8. 2.25 lb chuck short rib

We do our grocery shopping on Saturday, and now that it is Monday, we have a ton of food and a ton of things in the fridge! It's also a much smaller fridge than the one we are used to, so hopefully Food Waste Friday won't show too many gross things in the back of our fridge.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast:

1. Salmon and Asparagus Frittata with a Spaghetti Squash Crust 

(salmon leftover from WF prepared section)

2. Sausage and Arugula Frittata with a Butternut Squash Crust

Lunch:

This photo is actually from when we ate this from dinner, but everything looks like vomit in a tupperware container. 

Stuffed Acorn Squash with Sausage, Bell Peppers, Onions and MORE SQUASH.

Dinner:

This was actually supposed to be a little more exciting, but it wasn't. Adapted from this recipe, but with ground turkey and omitted walnuts. M put pine nuts in his and said he really liked it, so that's a good thing. 

Turkey "Salad" with an avocado/lemon dressing. Easy Peasy, super delish! We weren't a fan of the grapes we bought last week at WF, so I've been trying to use them in other things. The flavor was much better tonight when mixed with some other delicious foods! 

Day One is over, and we are looking forward to Day 2! Join us here, tomorrow! 

Okay, y'all. Here for good.

Hi Readers!

Now, you probably didn't miss me, but I MISS YOU! I miss having a place to put my thoughts down, write about my life, and pretend people care. I'm so self-centered (but I hear if you own it, the stigma goes away...)!

Anyway, Monday is the first day of the third Whole30 I plan to do. I currently have two under my belt, and this time around I want to really get serious about what I am doing. I am setting some pretty serious goals this time around and hoping that my results will be better than what they were during my last round. Since you are here to keep me accountable, below are my goals:

1. Exercise at least 4x/week.
2. No Snacks!
3. No Cheats! --This one is important. Last time, I gave some leeway on what was "technically" whole30. This time, no technicalities: just pure, real food.
4. Do this whole deal, for both M and I, as cheaply as possible. Eating real doesn't have to be spendy. 

That said, this brings my blog to a new level in fun. This is what you can look forward to:

1. Food Photos (NOM..I am planning on dinner for sure, but will try for more - its usually lefties)
2. Weekly Grocery Costs
3. Food Waste Friday (because, seriously, we all have zucchini that goes bad)
4. A glimpse at my favorite food blogs!

I hope you join me in a commitment I am making to you, myself and my kitchen for what could be quite a while! I can't wait to see you here!

**Please connect with me via social media: @babybarnacle (twitter) , @sadienewell (instagram)!

S

One Month Post W30

Hi Friends!

I wanted to update you a little on my life here on the blog, and also on what has happened in the last 30 days. It is incredible, the process I went through and how much I realized about myself.

Shortly after I finished Whole30, I almost died in the proverbial sense. I felt like I was run over by a truck (seriously, remind me why I never realized I felt this way) and I felt like I was ready to crawl into bed each and every day. My body didn't do a whole lot of fluctuating - I lost 9 pounds in my month and since yesterday, I've kept most of it off (plus or minus two pounds, people). What I have found super weird is that I'm bloating. Like, seriously bloated. Pants-don't-fit bloated. I didn't miss that feeling.

I've convinced M to do another round of Whole30 with me when we get back from vacation in a week or so. I'm excited because now that I have the first one down, I know I can do it and I'm incredibly excited to share this experience with him and with my dear readers! The next round I am going to focus more on what we eat, when we eat it and how we feel day to day. Less bitching, readers, more information....at least, I think that's what we are going for!

Until then, greetings from the west coast. We sure do love it here.

procrastination is my middle name

Okay, it's been a bit of a minute since I've given you an update, readers!

There's been enormous change in my personal life, but nothing I want to share with you just yet, darlings. To deter speculation, I am not pregnant, engaged or otherwise planning a big surprise announcement; my apologies! Let's talk Whole30, shall we? I have so many interesting things to share (which probably won't interest you in the same way they interest me)! Feel free to skip to the part after this if you're interested in just my ...symptoms.

Okay, we left off on day 25. Five days left and I started to get antsy. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat Whole30, I was just sick of my options, hadn't been to the grocery store, and was totally living the motto "failing to plan is planning to fail." I was close. Regardless, I pushed through. Let's do a quick recap of the last five days and then a recap of what happened in my POST W30 mess.

Day 26 - July 4. 
Happy Independence Day! M had to work so it wasn't a temptation for drinking and what not. We went to our fave restaurant  for dinner and called it a day. I had a delicious kale and pomegranate salad and we ate mussels. Easy peasy.

Day 27 - July 5. 
I got on a plane and went to Portland, Oregon. Larabars, raw sweet potatoes and kombucha, oh my! Life was good, easy, and my wonderful sister took me to Trader Joe's to buy groceries. We ate steak and grilled peppers for dinner, and I tried my hand at prosciutto wrapped figs. #delicious. 

Picture for extra effect - and so you keep reading. 

Follow my instagram to see these firsthand! @sadienewell


Day 28 - July 6
Lindsay and I spent another wonderful day together, ate another wonderful meal together from the grill, and watched a TON of catfish. YOU GUYS, I'm obsessed with that show! She took me on a walk where I pretended to hate it and not want to walk (which I didn't, so I guess I wasn't pretending) but I did get to see some amazing views. Portland is probably the prettiest city in the world. I say this with the most biased tone ever! Portland is wonderful - where else can you find parks down a CITY STREET with trees this amazing?

This was seriously a quarter mile from Lindsay's house, and the trail we walked went on for at least a mile. It is gorgeous and I am so happy she drug me along! I had a wonderful summery time!


Day 29 - July 7 
Homeward bound. I went back to where it all began: Long Beach, Washington. The place where dreams are made of. The place that makes me who I am, where everything makes sense and I feel peace in my heart. Where anxiety fades and I am surrounded by the people that I love and adore. This trip was hard for a few reasons - namely, all my friends are doing really amazing things with their lives and I am not. I feel like I am unremarkable, and that I need to do more. I'm working on this, but that's a blog for another day. I went home and after debriefing my dad and his lady about this Whole30, they were intrigued and supportive of my choice! We had fresh (and I'm talking, came off my dad's boat and into my mouth in the same day fresh) salmon with asparagus. Delicious. That's my dad. I get my good looks from him, obviously.

Day 30: July 8
It was a day like any other... but no, really, it was. I made my signature breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) and totally added salmon. I thought about the things I wanted for the following day. Cream in my coffee, a glass of wine, maybe a chocolate something. But what happened was much worse in a few ways, much better in a few others. This doesn't make much sense right now but I can't tell you until I tell you what happened in my post whole30 glow!

My last breakfast. It was delicious. Salmon is so different when it tastes like butter, and feels like Jesus wrapped you in a hug. I seriously swear I felt sunshine in my belly.

Let's talk about the next part, the ... fallout. 

I'm not one for self-hate these days, but I can really be an idiot sometimes. I read the reintroduction chapter of It Starts With Food. I knew what I had to do. I knew to only do things one at a time, a day between....I knew I shouldn't do whatever I wanted. 

It may be important to tell you I'm a gemini right about now. This is what happened. 

Day One of Poor Life Choices. 

I went to a bar with Madeline. THIS GIRL AND HER BARS. Literally, if you don't want to be irresponsible and drink a ton, don't go anywhere with this girl. She also has a much higher tolerance than me on a regular day, and then add to that my lower-than-normal tolerance and we are all sorts of screwed. Well, I was. At least I looked cute. 

My head also looks much too big for my body. This is something that happened to me years ago. Like, when I was 14. 

This had vodka in it. High fives to the bartender, Eric, ensued. Also names for the local clientele ensued. Sadie was back on the town (and had no idea what was about to happen to her body). 

I woke up the next day feeling LIKE HELL. I had what, 3 drinks over a 6 hour period? I wasn't hungover, let me make that clear. I wasn't vomity, sweaty, unreachable. I was just uncomfortable. My stomach was cramping, I felt like I got ran over, and I was really uncomfortable. Note: not a hangover! Just icky, icky contractions of food and alcohol digesting. If this is what labor feels like, count me out. 

Day Two of Poor Life Choices:

Martinis with my sixth grade literature teacher (no lie), a pseudo-bachelorette party where the apps were delicious, and the rose was sweet. We had shrimp curry and I was very excited to eat rice. In my brain it was a wonderful idea. 

I had zero foods of nutritional value (no, wait, we did go to Walgreens and I found some approved nuts and fruit) and the next day I wanted to die. 

Labor pains is what I'm deeming these feelings. Labor pains forever. 

But wait, I continued. Because apparently I have a deathwish. 

Day Three of Poor Life Choices:

I. Ate. This. A sandwhich. With cream cheese. Cheese. Raisins. Pineapples. Apples. Turkey. Lettuce. And LOTS OF BREAD. 

I felt terrible. And of course I ate the whole thing, which was probably 800 MILLION calories. I was so full and labor pain-ey that I had to lie down in a public place. I'm an embarassment to society. 

These were the highlights of my poor choices. I felt terrible. 

Needless to say, my hey day is over, and although I'm incorporating some more paleo foods and less whole30 foods, I already feel better. Just fantastic! 

I also don't think it's a coincidence that I totally broke out as soon as I stopped eating unprocessed foods. YOU GUYS. IM OVER IT. Homemade LaraBars, dates, and other foods, get in my belly! 

Thank you, readers, for reading my thoughts through this journey. Now that I'm done, I don't know what this blog will turn into, but I'm willing to find out. It won't be over, and it may be where I document my 30 days of something else. I did find that through this, I became more. More aware, happier, more confident. 

Would I recommend this to someone? Absolutely, yes, without a doubt. If you have food issues, unresolved or resolved, looking for a way to get a healthier handle on life, yes. Yes, yes yes yes yes. 

five to go!

Today, I'm ending day 25! I'm very excited to be done with this, as shopping for groceries is really hard, especially when learning a new store, but I'm also excited to finish it. This has definitely renewed my willpower, drive and has recentered my life just a little. I may not be smarter, prettier or nicer when the 30 days is up, but I did learn a lot about myself and shockingly about what we put into our bodies every day.
Speaking of, I'm obsessed with this kombucha. I didn't have much of a taste for it before, but now it tastes so much like a fizzy juice that I can't say no. This flavor, Guava Goddess, has been my favorite out of all the Synergy flavors thus far. 

So, I'm not going to stand on a soapbox here and tell all (ten) of you that you should do this 30 day thing, that it'll change your life (I'll write it on Facebook instead!) or that this is the answer to your problems. To be honest, it isn't. Whole30 won't be the answer. For the first three weeks, I was convinced it wasn't the answer for me. I did not honestly think that I could commit for 30 days into a program and it change my life. It did, but in different ways than I predicted. 

Yes, I wanted to look bomb in a bikini during our vacation. Yes, I wanted to eat right. Yes, I had heard the hype and YES I wanted to show myself that it isn't impossible to commit to something.

I'm going to speculate and say that we oftentimes think that "life gets in the way." Sure, life gets in the way of a lot of things. I forgot Alene's birthday this year, I didn't send my mom a card for Mother's Day (I don't think...), I don't get to go home as often as I like. LIFE gets in the way. My job gets in the way, the things I have to do in the city I live get in the way.

But life did not get in the way of what I ate - that was a choice I made, every meal. It was my choice to put something in my body, to either adhere to the guidelines or not. It was my choice to follow directions.  The first time I attempted (halfheartedly at best) Whole30 I didn't try to follow the directions. I failed. This time, I've followed the directions, haven't made anything classified as SWYPO (Sex With Your Pants On), haven't tried to fit junk food into a clean eating cycle. Even on the days where I didn't have the outcome I wanted, where I wanted to give up, where I thought it would be easy to just throw in the towel...I chose not to. I don't think Whole30 is the answer, not because it doesn't work, but because some of us don't necessarily try. Effort also looks different to people. My sister is going through a lot of the same choices I am right now, and she's bettering her body. It's awesome to be her cheerleader and hear about her journey - although different from mine, her effort is matched or even surpassing mine. I don't know if I have ever put 100% effort into anything, this included. I wonder what that would look like.

I digress. As I was saying, my life has been changed but not in the ways I predicted. I'll get back to this just because it's something I haven't figured out for myself just yet - when I know how to verbalize it I will, but the space is not today; plus, I'm sure you're done hearing my rambling!

 Now let me show you a picture of my dinner from yesterday because why not?! If you made it this far, you  may as well see what I ate.

Beef, pineapple salsa on a bed of romaine, peppers, sundried tomatoes, and a few broccolini. I tried to do olives, but I just really don't like them. Never have, and apparently never will.

I'm still not one for a big dinner or really ANY dinner in the night so I'm trying to be really cognizant of what I eat throughout the day. My life has been crazy lately and I feel like I'm subsisting on hard boiled eggs and larabars, but we are getting there. Slowly but surely, and with time, we are getting there.

Stay tuned for day 26, where we discuss America's [pretend] Birthday! 

where's my bowling bag?!

Today marks the end of day 19, a big accomplishment in my mind! This week, I have been tried and tested and have found that I'm really doing okay at this. 

I've been testing myself, that's for sure - giving jelly beans to my students, or happy hour with the girls, and just making sure that this life is sustainable when I leave the confines of 30 days. I noticed that I don't miss a lot of things anymore. Yes, wine is always a perfect complement to any meal, and yes, sometimes I'd really like a toffee nut americano. But I know that these things are necessary and its hard to argue with feeling so damn good. 

But today was a struggle. I know I've mentioned (a million times) how tired I am. Well, I still am tired. I've come to terms with it, and realize that I have some other things to worry about like if I'm tired because of my job or because I'm medically tired. Time will tell. Anyway, today started with a leap out of bed after looking at my iPad for the time. It was 6:56 am - and I report to work at 7:15 each morning. Unfortunately, I didn't feel well the night before and hadn't packed my lunch - I also make my breakfast in the mornings before work so my eggs are fresh and over easy. Today, that wasn't in the cards. Cue breakfast:

Raw sweet potatoes and black coffee. It took me about ten minutes to open up the vacuum sealed Applegate turkey I had, but when the scissors came out, I added protein to this breakfast of champions. And perhaps a larabar.  

Lunch wasn't much better. Blueberries (more than I care to admit), the rest of my turkey, macadamia nuts and an apple that didn't make it in my stomach. 

Second Lunch/First Dinner was the best bet so far. We stopped at Kona, and after being a brat and explaining the confines of Whole30 to my bestie Elijah, he came out with a beautiful plate of bibb lettuce and a shrimp/chicken mix that wasn't seasoned or dipped in weird sauce. I am so thankful for him and his knowledge of whole foods. 

I'm betting there will be another meal/snack in my future, but I'm not really sure just yet. If there is, I don't plan on mentioning it ever so live it up now! This day was just a bust, but I found that I was able to navigate the waters of oversleeping, making choices on a gametime level, and still making a good choice for my health. Everyone was a winner today! 

Day 20, and the 10 day countdown start tomorrow! 

day 17 or bust.

I'm three days away from 20! That's weird, considering it felt like forever 8 days ago.

Today, I made dinner! It is technically "clean out yo fridge" week up in here, and my meals are getting a little wiggity-whack. Breakfast, per usual was a sweet potato/egg combo (and seriously, not going to show that since I eat out of tupperwares 90% of the day) that I inhaled when my students were eating breakfast. I will never be a slow eater. It's the curse of being a teacher - we eat in 10 minutes or less out of pure necessity. If it takes me 15 minutes to eat something, it must be really chewy. Note: I hate chewing. 

Lunch was chicken that I quickly just pan sauteed today while I was getting ready for work (before I was verbally assaulted by my loving neighbor) with a salad, the rest of my bacondates and some cherries.
I lost track of time in between 4 and 8, but I committed to eating dinner tonight. I realized that I don't really like eating dinner. I'd rather eat 2 big meals and a small snack at night than 3 meals. It's at least ... food for thought! hah! Pun intended. 

Anyway, for dinner I had...drumroll please....Trader Joe's pork belly, roasted asparagus, raw red pepper and butternut squash. Simple, easy, quick to make and delicious in my belly. Doesn't that look glorious? I can't imagine the things it would make me do with a fancy camera. This was too much goodness for one plate. I'm super full, and so happy that I finally sat down for a meal. I'm not sold on this whole dinner-as-a-meal business, but I'll look into it. I have some brussels sprouts that need attention by tomorrow or I'll have to throw them out.

Today's noteworthy moments:
I felt really good. No tiger blood, but I didn't nap after work! I am trying to wean myself off naps, but sometimes they are just too tempting. I also was able to curb my hunger and didn't snack between meals today. That's a big accomplishment so yay! See you tomorrow for day 18!

dinner: the hardest meal.

Day 16 is down in the books, folks!
(What does that even mean? What proverbial book is all this info kept in? #bigassbook)

Regardless, let's get the party started.
Day 16 is over and done, 
and Whole30 dinners are no fun. 
I wanted to make this little rhyme
to show that I can pass the time
...thinking about food. 

Now that I have a proper intro, I have about 4 things to say about dinners.

1. I can't bring myself to eat dinner, not in the whole meal sit down type of way.

2. I'm pretty sure my body is adjusting - I'm starving in the am, sometimes before lunch, and then nothing at dinner. I don't get hungry until around 8 and that is just too late for me to eat considering my bedtime.

3. I have all the  goodies to make a delicious dinner, it's all prepped...but I just don't have the drive. My energy is zapped.

4. After school I took a 2.5 hour nap. I'm preparing to go to sleep after this post. There's no time for dinner when I'm busy sleeping! Why am I so tired (beside the obvious reason that I am recovering from a sickness)!?

5. No snacks are for squares (not dinner related, sue me).

I'm also obsessed with bacondates, sweet potatoes and eggs. The people that cannot stand eggs by day 10 crack me up. I've been eating the same breakfast (usually hard boiled eggs) for at least a year now - what's thirty days AND I get to add sweet potatoes! This is a win-win.

What I'm noticing the most...
This is a total mindset change. I feel funny talking about this but bear with me. I have spent the last, oh, 10 years talking about food, weighing food, tracking the food I eat, making sure I'm within the realm of "healthy" so when it came to Whole30 and the rules are to listen to your body, eat right and not weigh yourself I thought for SURE I would balloon, that this wouldn't work for me. Yes, my body took more time to figure out what it was doing in regards to breaking down food and digesting but after the first hurdle, I've seriously been through a lot of change. I want to be clear - I have stepped on the scale and the number has stayed the same. I haven't done anything crazy there, like lose 40 pounds and not have diabetes, but I feel different. I can tell that I'm not bloated, that I've lost inches and that I can be a little less self-aware in what I'm wearing. Do I love the way I look? Of course not. Do I feel a bit more comfortable than I did 16 days ago? Definitely so. I think that the mindset is all relative, but that health is health. When we are healthy, we feel better about ourselves, when we feel better about ourselves we are our BEST selves. I'm just now finding my best self and I am so happy about that. It has been a long journey to KC and I feel like I'm finally finding my feet below me. It's been such a year, and I am so blessed to have come out on top. All sappiness aside, I do feel like the next 13 days will go by so quickly! Stick with me, and hopefully we will even have some fabulous dinners come out of this.

whoooaaaa, we're halfway there...

Sometimes, I do think I'm livin' on a prayer. 

But hey, all Jon Bon aside, today is the halfway point of the Whole30! I've made it fifteen whole days on this! Wahoo!! The rest has to be a cakewalk, right? Right. Let's recap the last few days.

Yesterday I was knocked on my ass by this sickness that I got last week...it. was. terrible. I knew I had been tired lately, and I just couldn't get motivated to work out or really get up in the mornings no matter how much I slept. After a couple weeks of this, combined with the beginning of Whole30, I put my body in some sort of shock that made it impossible to attack this sickness. After spending Sunday in bed, I feel a ton better. I ended up going to work today and by the end of the day I felt pretty good. Definitely the most bright eyed and bushy tailed that I've felt in a very long time. I'm excited to see what I feel like tomorrow morning.

Today I had an interesting day. I wasn't hungry for the majority of the day - breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) held me over until lunch (lettuce wraps + red pepper + apple + larabar) and I was sated until dinner (chicken asparagus stirfry + bacon wrapped dates + blueberries). But I just couldn't stop thinking about food. I wanted to eat all day. I can't figure out if its because I'm actually missing nutrients here or if I'm just replacing my energies in eating crap into eating the crappiest whole food I can find. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I know that this is a problem I'm trying to solve anyway. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. I just have to focus myself in the last 15 days to make great choices, continue on the path, and see where I'm at in 15 days. 

On a kind of related note, I made bacon wrapped dates today. OMG. so good. I can't get enough of these and I'm pretty sure I'm going to put myself into a coma eating all this goodness. All I did was cut bacon strips into thirds, pit my dates, and wrap them up! In the oven, 375 for 20 minutes (flip after ten) and the goodness comes out. If you haven't made them yet, please stop reading immediately and make these now. If you have, and you don't like them, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. They are in my fridge, calling my name, saying "eat me, eat me" and it's getting really hard to say no. Argh. Whole30 is really killing me. Who would have thought I wanted to eat bacondates 15 days ago? Not I. Not I. 

13? Already?

This can't be right! Have I already arrived at and completed Day 13? 

Why yes, dear readers, I have. 

Here I am, alive and ready to tell today's tale. It starts with a young twenty something (six) year old opening her eyes at 6:50, deciding it was too much work to get up and promptly rolling over. 

It starts, yet again, at 10:30 (much more appropriate for a Saturday) when I open my eyes for the second time. I roll over, go to rub my eyes and feel like I got punched in the left one.  My throat feels like I've swallowed nails, my body aches and I can't tell if I'm hot or cold - just that I'm not well. Being sick is the worst, and I'm almost positive I don't have strep, but a weird strand of the common cold. Rude. 

I digress. Besides dealing with THAT, I'm also trying to move into a different apartment in a week, and trying to be proactive about packing. This means that I need to start the process YESTERDAY to be ready to move next weekend. Am I ready? No. This sickness has brought down every ounce of will I ever had to be a productive human being. At least I will now rest easy knowing that I will, yet again, look like a fool on moving day. Maybe inspiration will strike and I'll get all my moving done during the week..or maybe I'll continue napping and forget about that plan altogether. Time will tell, so stay tuned. 

Anyway, I feel super under the weather today. I hardly have the energy to move from bed to couch, and my eyes are tired and droopy. Against better judgment, I tried to push through it most the morning. You know where that got me? On the couch, exhausted and tired at 2 pm. Not even worth it. In the process of pushing through my sickness, I wandered around my apartment trying to figure out where exactly to get started when it came to packing. My goal is to pack most things I won't need all week, so when the time comes, all I have to do is pack up the last little pieces and call it good. This is the HOPE and GOAL. I did manage to pack up all of my cupboards minus my pyrex dishes and tupperware in my kitchen today which is a huge accomplishment. 

If you've spent any time with me ever, you know that the best place to find me is either in bed napping or in my kitchen. I posted this on instagram today, after realizing what exactly I had to pack - apparently my baking has been put on hold while I finish this W30. Fine with me, but I do miss finding ways to make my kitchen come alive in the interim. Sweet potatoes only excite me for so long. I couldn't believe that just 4 things of sugar and 3 things of flour was 30 pounds of pure nothing. Pure nothing that I would willingly make into something else before I started this process. I'm not saying that after W30 I plan to never bake again, but after realizing that most things we need are whole foods, I don't plan on buying any more flour or sugar that isn't...enriched, bleached, etc. End rant. Now just to perfect my pinterest pages until I run out of these ingredients! I need guinea pigs! Willing volunteers, please let me know. :]

Nothing new on the W30 front today - just hanging out, forcing myself to eat and drink a ton of water. We will see what happens in the back half of the W30! Hoping for some positive change in the next few weeks. Also looking forward to that glass of wine on day 31. 

ho hum. day 11.

It's naptime again, and today I forgot my book. Feel free to stop reading now! But seriously, I've gotten a lot of feedback from you, readers, and I am humbled that you take the time to read about my life and my adventures with Whole30. I appreciate each and every one of you! Today has been a wonderful day when it comes to my personal life and goals, but when it comes to Whole30, I'm definitely in the rut. Let's start with the timeline, shall we?

Days 10-11: The Hardest Days.
Fact: you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on Day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve made it through most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to experience any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish your new routine (read: you’ve eaten eggs prepared ten different ways over the last ten days), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”  Everywhere you look, you see the things you “can’t” have: the melted cheese on a greasy burger, the creaminess of that double-scoop cone, the cold beer in your best friend’s tailgate cooler. Dammit, this is hard! And right now you’re wondering if the results will really be as good as “they” all say it is.
You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese.
This is where you really start to experience the psychological hold that your food habits have on you. You’ve put in a lot of effort to get to where you are right now, but you’re still waiting for the results you’re hoping to see. Your  brain tells you that you deserve some kind of reward (don’t you?) and, of course, we’ve been conditioned to think of food as the best reward out there. Right now, you’re craving that ice cream, beer, or whatever treat you think would make for just the right reward. But, instead of that treat, you’re standing face to face with the realization that you have 20 more days of deprivation ahead of you.
The key here is to redefine your idea of reward.  Think long and hard about the foods you’re grieving and ask yourself what need you’re expecting them to fulfill.  Are you feeling anxious and looking for reassurance?  Are you feeling sad, and looking for something to cheer you up? Are you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier to self-sabotage than fail? Remind yourself that food cannot fill that void for you—cannot make you feel truly accomplished, comforted, calm, happy, beautiful. Then, find another way to fill that need that does not involve those foods. Prepare yourselves for these days, knowing that all you have to do is see them through to the other side before things get much, much easier.
- See more here!

I am pretty sure I yelled at one of my wonderful coworkers after finding a chocolate bar (skinny cow chocolate plus caramel yummmm) in her lunchbox- and yesterday I had sweet potatoes and eggs for breakfast AND dinner. Namely,  I love sweet potatoes, but also because I'm bored with my food choices. I haven't really had any weird food dreams lately, which is nice, but I do find myself just wanting to eat a ton. I am hungry, and I'm not sure if it's because my body is adapting or because I just psychologically want. to. eat. Time will tell, I suppose! I also want a taco. I don't generally like tacos. I blame my chocolate eating coworker, who brought taco salad today (you know who you are...)! 

I'm not craving anything, but I am hungry. I also woke up with a sore throat after not feeling rested this morning. We will see what's going on in the coming days, but so far, I'm holding on strong! ....I'm still waiting for the magic to happen. 


afternoon update on sore throat: almost positive I have strep. Hydrogen peroxide and my couch have been my very best friends. I'd go to the doctor, but who needs modern medicine? I'm not broken! 

PS, I'm trying to be better about pictures, I swear!