5 Reasons Why I Quit Whole30

Readers,

It has taken me a lot of pride-swallowing courage to write this post, but I think it needs to be done. Those who know me well will agree that when I go silent, something generally tends to be wrong. I don't voice things and I let them die a slow, sometimes painful death. Today, I'm owning up to the fact that I quit Whole30...and I'm not sorry.

I have successfully finished a collective 130 days of Whole30. Some days were easier than others, some days I really felt awesome. Some days, I wanted to off myself and everyone around me. Sound familiar?


So why did I quit? See below.

Reason #1: Although it is effective, it was not sustainable. 
This has nothing to do with the holiday season and has everything to do with living life. I wanted, and insisted that I resume my life while I committed to Whole30. Unfortunately, as everyone knows, that can take a hit on your social life. My social life was non-existent. I was also really sick of chicken. For me, this isn't a sustainable way to live.

Reason #2: I did it for all the wrong reasons. 
We embarked on Whole30 round 2.5 for a variety of reasons, but one in particular: we didn't feel like we ate well the previous week. Instead of not feeling guilt and accepting that we hit a setback, we went extreme and decided to Whole30 our lives away. This was not to reset our systems, this was something that we did to, essentially, punish ourselves. It wasn't a good way to start and since we weren't in the right mindset, we grew tired of the rules and boundaries - it wasn't effective.

Reason #3: I felt different. 
This time around, I committed to working out four times a week. Often, especially in power yoga, I felt dizzy, not focused and lightheaded. Due to the lack of nutrients, I think, or the amount I was eating. I did change my diet a bit - added more fats and more starchy carbs, drank a ton of water but nothing helped. It wasn't until I relaxed my diet that I felt strong and capable again instead of waif like. I realize that the program states the benefit of using fat as fuel, and it takes a while for your body to adjust, that we should eat what is natural to our bodies. I also realize that each body is different and I cannot deduce if my body works well using only a few things as fuel. I'm sure there is some scientific evidence in there somewhere to refute my theory.

Reason #4: I wasn't sleeping. 
I don't know if this is related, but once I went off W30 and started listening to my body, I have been sleeping like a little swaddled infant.

Reason #5: I had to choose what was healthy. 
I have struggled a LOT with body weight, image and food in general. The first time I did Whole30, it freed me from a lot of the emotional feelings I still attached with food. When I remove those triggers, I realize that I am in a much better place while eating regardless of what it is. I have learned when my body is full, learned what my body reacts to positively and what it does not, and I also understand that for me, it isn't healthy to box myself into foods that don't work for me. I don't have a gluten intolerance, I don't have a sustainable-sourced dairy intolerance, and my body is in shape. It wasn't working and I'm okay with recognizing that.

Now. All of that aside...
I do feel great. I feel like I can make it through an hour of yoga. My body is getting stronger and I feel comfortable in my skin. I think that it is important to note what I've added into my diet to complement what I did with Whole30:

• more starchy veggies
• cheese (sourced locally, from WF)
• honey as a sweetener
• yogurt (greek)

The list is not long, and it doesn't seem crazy, but this is something that works for me. By adding a few things into my diet, I feel balance. I don't feel guilty about the foods I eat and I let myself indulge without guilt. To me, these are the important things in life. Not how many days I can go without a glass of wine, or how many people ate cheese and I didn't. 

Hats off to you, readers! Thanks for following me in this journey. It isn't over, but it is about to take a turn....

the hiatus that lasted almost 30 days.

Readers, did you miss me?

Don't lie. I know you forgot. 

Anyway, like I mentioned over a month ago, I set out to do another Whole30 because my vacation took a toll on my body. Like real bad. Like I gained five  eight pounds of pure food. Yes, I enjoyed my vacation but I came back a bloaty mess - pants didn't fit right, I was uncomfortable in my own skin, etc. Imagine my joy in seeking refuge in Whole30, Round 2.

I was excited, motivated, and ready to see a change in my body. Ready to embrace the idea that I wouldn't get to drink for 30 days, eat anything like ice cream or cake pops or fruity beverages....I was okay with all of that. I was ready. 

And then, it all went downhill. Day Four came around, and I was a huuuuuge you-know-what. I couldn't even look at someone without feeling the urge to kill them. It wasn't the best day, I'll tell you that.

Then Day 16. Tiger Blood? Nope. All I had to show for my midway point was more bloat, less foods I could eat and this overwhelming sense of failure. I had stuck to the rules, stuck to the ideas that I could only eat certain things and was staying mindful in my food choices. I was confused. I couldn't help but to be sad about the lack of change in my body.

Then Day 20. Still bloated.
21. Bloated again.
22. I bet you can guess how I felt.

So now, I'm on Day 29. I don't feel amazing, I don't feel like I have really changed physically, I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. The whole reason I did this the first time was to accomplish something and prove I could do it. Well, I proved it. And a few things this time around were different. Let me list the things I suggest you DON'T DO on a Whole30 for optimal results (and also note that I've extended my Whole30 for another 15 days. Whole45 to make up for all the stupid things I've done thus far).


1. I worked out 4x/week on this round. Last time, I maybe worked out five or six times max; I was less tired this time around which is good, but my body decided to compose my fat elsewhere (which was a little bit rude). This didn't hinder me, per say, but it is a reason I didn't get the same results as my first round.

2. Snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks EVERYBODY! I snacked. I knew I wasn't supposed to. With a new work schedule, less time to plan, the old saying rang true: Failing to plan is planning to fail.

3. Fruit in all forms. My fruit intake was MUCH higher this time around and it wasn't until about Day 17 I stopped eating fruit. Within 24 hours, I had noticed a change in a lot of ways: my stomach didn't rumble, I was thirstier (duh), and I got rid of this weird stomachache I had going on.

4. Get depressed. I got really sad when I didn't see the results I wanted. I had to remember that I had to trust the process, that this was bettering myself in all forms, that what I want is a long-term solution to a problem that took me a week to make.

5. DO Surround yourself with people that love you and are willing to go through mood swings, outbursts, moments of vulnerability and when all you want is a cookie, someone to say "no way!" I noticed that I needed a lot of self affirmation during this round, and that I needed someone to also tell me I was doing things right. That I was pretty anyway.


Readers, I still stand behind Whole30 for anyone who wants to try.  That said, don't be an idiot like me. Thanks. :)

One Month Post W30

Hi Friends!

I wanted to update you a little on my life here on the blog, and also on what has happened in the last 30 days. It is incredible, the process I went through and how much I realized about myself.

Shortly after I finished Whole30, I almost died in the proverbial sense. I felt like I was run over by a truck (seriously, remind me why I never realized I felt this way) and I felt like I was ready to crawl into bed each and every day. My body didn't do a whole lot of fluctuating - I lost 9 pounds in my month and since yesterday, I've kept most of it off (plus or minus two pounds, people). What I have found super weird is that I'm bloating. Like, seriously bloated. Pants-don't-fit bloated. I didn't miss that feeling.

I've convinced M to do another round of Whole30 with me when we get back from vacation in a week or so. I'm excited because now that I have the first one down, I know I can do it and I'm incredibly excited to share this experience with him and with my dear readers! The next round I am going to focus more on what we eat, when we eat it and how we feel day to day. Less bitching, readers, more information....at least, I think that's what we are going for!

Until then, greetings from the west coast. We sure do love it here.

procrastination is my middle name

Okay, it's been a bit of a minute since I've given you an update, readers!

There's been enormous change in my personal life, but nothing I want to share with you just yet, darlings. To deter speculation, I am not pregnant, engaged or otherwise planning a big surprise announcement; my apologies! Let's talk Whole30, shall we? I have so many interesting things to share (which probably won't interest you in the same way they interest me)! Feel free to skip to the part after this if you're interested in just my ...symptoms.

Okay, we left off on day 25. Five days left and I started to get antsy. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat Whole30, I was just sick of my options, hadn't been to the grocery store, and was totally living the motto "failing to plan is planning to fail." I was close. Regardless, I pushed through. Let's do a quick recap of the last five days and then a recap of what happened in my POST W30 mess.

Day 26 - July 4. 
Happy Independence Day! M had to work so it wasn't a temptation for drinking and what not. We went to our fave restaurant  for dinner and called it a day. I had a delicious kale and pomegranate salad and we ate mussels. Easy peasy.

Day 27 - July 5. 
I got on a plane and went to Portland, Oregon. Larabars, raw sweet potatoes and kombucha, oh my! Life was good, easy, and my wonderful sister took me to Trader Joe's to buy groceries. We ate steak and grilled peppers for dinner, and I tried my hand at prosciutto wrapped figs. #delicious. 

Picture for extra effect - and so you keep reading. 

Follow my instagram to see these firsthand! @sadienewell


Day 28 - July 6
Lindsay and I spent another wonderful day together, ate another wonderful meal together from the grill, and watched a TON of catfish. YOU GUYS, I'm obsessed with that show! She took me on a walk where I pretended to hate it and not want to walk (which I didn't, so I guess I wasn't pretending) but I did get to see some amazing views. Portland is probably the prettiest city in the world. I say this with the most biased tone ever! Portland is wonderful - where else can you find parks down a CITY STREET with trees this amazing?

This was seriously a quarter mile from Lindsay's house, and the trail we walked went on for at least a mile. It is gorgeous and I am so happy she drug me along! I had a wonderful summery time!


Day 29 - July 7 
Homeward bound. I went back to where it all began: Long Beach, Washington. The place where dreams are made of. The place that makes me who I am, where everything makes sense and I feel peace in my heart. Where anxiety fades and I am surrounded by the people that I love and adore. This trip was hard for a few reasons - namely, all my friends are doing really amazing things with their lives and I am not. I feel like I am unremarkable, and that I need to do more. I'm working on this, but that's a blog for another day. I went home and after debriefing my dad and his lady about this Whole30, they were intrigued and supportive of my choice! We had fresh (and I'm talking, came off my dad's boat and into my mouth in the same day fresh) salmon with asparagus. Delicious. That's my dad. I get my good looks from him, obviously.

Day 30: July 8
It was a day like any other... but no, really, it was. I made my signature breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) and totally added salmon. I thought about the things I wanted for the following day. Cream in my coffee, a glass of wine, maybe a chocolate something. But what happened was much worse in a few ways, much better in a few others. This doesn't make much sense right now but I can't tell you until I tell you what happened in my post whole30 glow!

My last breakfast. It was delicious. Salmon is so different when it tastes like butter, and feels like Jesus wrapped you in a hug. I seriously swear I felt sunshine in my belly.

Let's talk about the next part, the ... fallout. 

I'm not one for self-hate these days, but I can really be an idiot sometimes. I read the reintroduction chapter of It Starts With Food. I knew what I had to do. I knew to only do things one at a time, a day between....I knew I shouldn't do whatever I wanted. 

It may be important to tell you I'm a gemini right about now. This is what happened. 

Day One of Poor Life Choices. 

I went to a bar with Madeline. THIS GIRL AND HER BARS. Literally, if you don't want to be irresponsible and drink a ton, don't go anywhere with this girl. She also has a much higher tolerance than me on a regular day, and then add to that my lower-than-normal tolerance and we are all sorts of screwed. Well, I was. At least I looked cute. 

My head also looks much too big for my body. This is something that happened to me years ago. Like, when I was 14. 

This had vodka in it. High fives to the bartender, Eric, ensued. Also names for the local clientele ensued. Sadie was back on the town (and had no idea what was about to happen to her body). 

I woke up the next day feeling LIKE HELL. I had what, 3 drinks over a 6 hour period? I wasn't hungover, let me make that clear. I wasn't vomity, sweaty, unreachable. I was just uncomfortable. My stomach was cramping, I felt like I got ran over, and I was really uncomfortable. Note: not a hangover! Just icky, icky contractions of food and alcohol digesting. If this is what labor feels like, count me out. 

Day Two of Poor Life Choices:

Martinis with my sixth grade literature teacher (no lie), a pseudo-bachelorette party where the apps were delicious, and the rose was sweet. We had shrimp curry and I was very excited to eat rice. In my brain it was a wonderful idea. 

I had zero foods of nutritional value (no, wait, we did go to Walgreens and I found some approved nuts and fruit) and the next day I wanted to die. 

Labor pains is what I'm deeming these feelings. Labor pains forever. 

But wait, I continued. Because apparently I have a deathwish. 

Day Three of Poor Life Choices:

I. Ate. This. A sandwhich. With cream cheese. Cheese. Raisins. Pineapples. Apples. Turkey. Lettuce. And LOTS OF BREAD. 

I felt terrible. And of course I ate the whole thing, which was probably 800 MILLION calories. I was so full and labor pain-ey that I had to lie down in a public place. I'm an embarassment to society. 

These were the highlights of my poor choices. I felt terrible. 

Needless to say, my hey day is over, and although I'm incorporating some more paleo foods and less whole30 foods, I already feel better. Just fantastic! 

I also don't think it's a coincidence that I totally broke out as soon as I stopped eating unprocessed foods. YOU GUYS. IM OVER IT. Homemade LaraBars, dates, and other foods, get in my belly! 

Thank you, readers, for reading my thoughts through this journey. Now that I'm done, I don't know what this blog will turn into, but I'm willing to find out. It won't be over, and it may be where I document my 30 days of something else. I did find that through this, I became more. More aware, happier, more confident. 

Would I recommend this to someone? Absolutely, yes, without a doubt. If you have food issues, unresolved or resolved, looking for a way to get a healthier handle on life, yes. Yes, yes yes yes yes. 

five to go!

Today, I'm ending day 25! I'm very excited to be done with this, as shopping for groceries is really hard, especially when learning a new store, but I'm also excited to finish it. This has definitely renewed my willpower, drive and has recentered my life just a little. I may not be smarter, prettier or nicer when the 30 days is up, but I did learn a lot about myself and shockingly about what we put into our bodies every day.
Speaking of, I'm obsessed with this kombucha. I didn't have much of a taste for it before, but now it tastes so much like a fizzy juice that I can't say no. This flavor, Guava Goddess, has been my favorite out of all the Synergy flavors thus far. 

So, I'm not going to stand on a soapbox here and tell all (ten) of you that you should do this 30 day thing, that it'll change your life (I'll write it on Facebook instead!) or that this is the answer to your problems. To be honest, it isn't. Whole30 won't be the answer. For the first three weeks, I was convinced it wasn't the answer for me. I did not honestly think that I could commit for 30 days into a program and it change my life. It did, but in different ways than I predicted. 

Yes, I wanted to look bomb in a bikini during our vacation. Yes, I wanted to eat right. Yes, I had heard the hype and YES I wanted to show myself that it isn't impossible to commit to something.

I'm going to speculate and say that we oftentimes think that "life gets in the way." Sure, life gets in the way of a lot of things. I forgot Alene's birthday this year, I didn't send my mom a card for Mother's Day (I don't think...), I don't get to go home as often as I like. LIFE gets in the way. My job gets in the way, the things I have to do in the city I live get in the way.

But life did not get in the way of what I ate - that was a choice I made, every meal. It was my choice to put something in my body, to either adhere to the guidelines or not. It was my choice to follow directions.  The first time I attempted (halfheartedly at best) Whole30 I didn't try to follow the directions. I failed. This time, I've followed the directions, haven't made anything classified as SWYPO (Sex With Your Pants On), haven't tried to fit junk food into a clean eating cycle. Even on the days where I didn't have the outcome I wanted, where I wanted to give up, where I thought it would be easy to just throw in the towel...I chose not to. I don't think Whole30 is the answer, not because it doesn't work, but because some of us don't necessarily try. Effort also looks different to people. My sister is going through a lot of the same choices I am right now, and she's bettering her body. It's awesome to be her cheerleader and hear about her journey - although different from mine, her effort is matched or even surpassing mine. I don't know if I have ever put 100% effort into anything, this included. I wonder what that would look like.

I digress. As I was saying, my life has been changed but not in the ways I predicted. I'll get back to this just because it's something I haven't figured out for myself just yet - when I know how to verbalize it I will, but the space is not today; plus, I'm sure you're done hearing my rambling!

 Now let me show you a picture of my dinner from yesterday because why not?! If you made it this far, you  may as well see what I ate.

Beef, pineapple salsa on a bed of romaine, peppers, sundried tomatoes, and a few broccolini. I tried to do olives, but I just really don't like them. Never have, and apparently never will.

I'm still not one for a big dinner or really ANY dinner in the night so I'm trying to be really cognizant of what I eat throughout the day. My life has been crazy lately and I feel like I'm subsisting on hard boiled eggs and larabars, but we are getting there. Slowly but surely, and with time, we are getting there.

Stay tuned for day 26, where we discuss America's [pretend] Birthday! 

whoooaaaa, we're halfway there...

Sometimes, I do think I'm livin' on a prayer. 

But hey, all Jon Bon aside, today is the halfway point of the Whole30! I've made it fifteen whole days on this! Wahoo!! The rest has to be a cakewalk, right? Right. Let's recap the last few days.

Yesterday I was knocked on my ass by this sickness that I got last week...it. was. terrible. I knew I had been tired lately, and I just couldn't get motivated to work out or really get up in the mornings no matter how much I slept. After a couple weeks of this, combined with the beginning of Whole30, I put my body in some sort of shock that made it impossible to attack this sickness. After spending Sunday in bed, I feel a ton better. I ended up going to work today and by the end of the day I felt pretty good. Definitely the most bright eyed and bushy tailed that I've felt in a very long time. I'm excited to see what I feel like tomorrow morning.

Today I had an interesting day. I wasn't hungry for the majority of the day - breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) held me over until lunch (lettuce wraps + red pepper + apple + larabar) and I was sated until dinner (chicken asparagus stirfry + bacon wrapped dates + blueberries). But I just couldn't stop thinking about food. I wanted to eat all day. I can't figure out if its because I'm actually missing nutrients here or if I'm just replacing my energies in eating crap into eating the crappiest whole food I can find. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I know that this is a problem I'm trying to solve anyway. 

Tomorrow will be a better day. I just have to focus myself in the last 15 days to make great choices, continue on the path, and see where I'm at in 15 days. 

On a kind of related note, I made bacon wrapped dates today. OMG. so good. I can't get enough of these and I'm pretty sure I'm going to put myself into a coma eating all this goodness. All I did was cut bacon strips into thirds, pit my dates, and wrap them up! In the oven, 375 for 20 minutes (flip after ten) and the goodness comes out. If you haven't made them yet, please stop reading immediately and make these now. If you have, and you don't like them, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. They are in my fridge, calling my name, saying "eat me, eat me" and it's getting really hard to say no. Argh. Whole30 is really killing me. Who would have thought I wanted to eat bacondates 15 days ago? Not I. Not I. 

13? Already?

This can't be right! Have I already arrived at and completed Day 13? 

Why yes, dear readers, I have. 

Here I am, alive and ready to tell today's tale. It starts with a young twenty something (six) year old opening her eyes at 6:50, deciding it was too much work to get up and promptly rolling over. 

It starts, yet again, at 10:30 (much more appropriate for a Saturday) when I open my eyes for the second time. I roll over, go to rub my eyes and feel like I got punched in the left one.  My throat feels like I've swallowed nails, my body aches and I can't tell if I'm hot or cold - just that I'm not well. Being sick is the worst, and I'm almost positive I don't have strep, but a weird strand of the common cold. Rude. 

I digress. Besides dealing with THAT, I'm also trying to move into a different apartment in a week, and trying to be proactive about packing. This means that I need to start the process YESTERDAY to be ready to move next weekend. Am I ready? No. This sickness has brought down every ounce of will I ever had to be a productive human being. At least I will now rest easy knowing that I will, yet again, look like a fool on moving day. Maybe inspiration will strike and I'll get all my moving done during the week..or maybe I'll continue napping and forget about that plan altogether. Time will tell, so stay tuned. 

Anyway, I feel super under the weather today. I hardly have the energy to move from bed to couch, and my eyes are tired and droopy. Against better judgment, I tried to push through it most the morning. You know where that got me? On the couch, exhausted and tired at 2 pm. Not even worth it. In the process of pushing through my sickness, I wandered around my apartment trying to figure out where exactly to get started when it came to packing. My goal is to pack most things I won't need all week, so when the time comes, all I have to do is pack up the last little pieces and call it good. This is the HOPE and GOAL. I did manage to pack up all of my cupboards minus my pyrex dishes and tupperware in my kitchen today which is a huge accomplishment. 

If you've spent any time with me ever, you know that the best place to find me is either in bed napping or in my kitchen. I posted this on instagram today, after realizing what exactly I had to pack - apparently my baking has been put on hold while I finish this W30. Fine with me, but I do miss finding ways to make my kitchen come alive in the interim. Sweet potatoes only excite me for so long. I couldn't believe that just 4 things of sugar and 3 things of flour was 30 pounds of pure nothing. Pure nothing that I would willingly make into something else before I started this process. I'm not saying that after W30 I plan to never bake again, but after realizing that most things we need are whole foods, I don't plan on buying any more flour or sugar that isn't...enriched, bleached, etc. End rant. Now just to perfect my pinterest pages until I run out of these ingredients! I need guinea pigs! Willing volunteers, please let me know. :]

Nothing new on the W30 front today - just hanging out, forcing myself to eat and drink a ton of water. We will see what happens in the back half of the W30! Hoping for some positive change in the next few weeks. Also looking forward to that glass of wine on day 31. 

Confession...

I never finish anything these days. 

You guys, it is incredibly frustrating. I never commit and finish ANYTHING. My big accomplishment is going to work every day. Let's be honest, that's not a huge thing to be proud of. Most adults actually go to work each day, even if they work when they get there. I'm one of those people that just has lost all sorts of drive I guess, and I need to find that spark that gets me back to who I used to be - the person I enjoy. 

I tried to do that 100 Happy Days project (something I haven't necessarily given up on - it's still a pipe dream) and I made it about 23 days. Woo, big deal. I post IG pictures every day anyway, and I couldn't even finish that? Pathetic.

I was going to yoga for a while. Loved it. Then I missed a day and never went back. I still don't understand why.  

I then decided I was going to do crossfit. I finished the elements class, but Dana and I have yet to go to an actual class because we are too scared to go hang out with all the ripped people in there. Fail. 

I don't even put my dishes in the dishwasher until the day after. Gross. I know that one is a more obvious, normal one, but bear with me. I'm trying to prove a point. 

The point is, if you don't know already, that I have a hard time getting things done. Today, after I realized that I'm just not comfortable in my own skin and with who I am right now, I decided that I have to commit to something in my personal life and stick to it. Something that is good for my health, something that might inspire me and challenge me. Something that I can be proud of that I actually finished. Cue music. 

I'm going to try and do the Whole30 for real this time.

Back in January, I started to do the Whole30 and I was real quiet about it because I didn't want to do it just to do it (same reason I didn't go to nursing school). I didn't want to be part of the crowd that was in it for the resolution (but believe me, I was). In September, I was working out a lot and actually starting to look pretty good - I was okay with what I looked like, what I felt like and knew when I was choosing to eat poorly.

Some days, I come home and I don't know what happens. I just want to eat everything. Although I've stopped baking as much to cut back on temptation, I'm still not doing the best I can and I'm making excuses for myself. I make excuses because I get lazy, and in between the hours of 7 and 9 pm, if I'm not sleeping, I'm looking longingly into my kitchen for something to snack on. Those of you that have been with me through my blogs know that it has been very challenging for me to have a positive relationship with food. I'm hoping, through these thirty days, that I can reset my system, think clearly, not wake up with migraines because I don't have an IV full of coffee, and that I can emerge as a butterfly. Tomorrow marks day 1, and I know it won't be a challenge probably until Tuesday, day 4. Stay tuned, readers. I'm determined to finish this bitch.