Hello, there!

Well, hello!

It is nice to see you back here, and to be honest, it is good to be in this space. I am currently fulfilling a bachelorette weekend, as the mister is out of town. Dinner consists of wine and whatever is in the fridge (whole foods brussels sprouts make the list here) and today was also tax-free shopping day!

...basically, the rest of the nation (looking at you, Oregon) has to have one day of tax free where other states get it all the time! I do not miss Oregon shopping and today I was reminded of home! I bought five pairs of shoes today for a collective $30, was able to get the rest of the gear I needed for our upcoming trip, and also treated myself to a jacket I've been lusting after for the past few months! All in all, it was a good trip.

So, the topic at hand today is probably a burning question in your mind. Here's the deal. It has been so long since I've put anything on paper I am just going to sum up the year as best as I can. After I do that, we will see where we are at.

I quit writing regularly after I quit Whole30. Life got in the way, I was busy, I didn't have anything of substance to write...the list of excuses goes on and on. I finally realized that I just have to bite the bullet and  move on. Count the past as past and keep going, as slow as it may be. Here I am, months later, writing about my life.

Let's start with January.
      In January, nothing of note happened that I remember. We had just returned from a trip to Vegas, demolition was starting on our house, and we were living in an apartment. The NBA season was rough, and we were down a million players at this point. Little did we know what a push it would be to get to the end. I was busy writing IEPs and the mister was busy slangin those contracts for the boys in blue we have grown to love. I regrew four orchids, attempted to love my job (failed), and started suffering from terrible migraines. January was a rough month! We were frustrated about our living situation (three months into paying a mortgage and rent), the basketball season, and our lack of THINGS that we had in our apartment. Who packs all the DVDs for storage and moves the DVD player into the apartment? We do.



February...
      In February, we celebrated a LOT of love! We had Valentine's Day (which was during the trade deadline, so M worked and I celebrated), and a week later we celebrated our anniversary. I got him these neat cufflinks of the coordinates of our first date: the Ambassador Hotel in Wichita, Kansas! I got flowers and gorgeous earrings and we had a beautiful dinner. We were still watching our team struggle through the regular season and our contractors renovate our house. Fortunately, I found some really great friends in my yoga community and was happy to drive the three minutes from our apartment to get my hour of balance on. That's the one thing I miss about our little apartment! I also interviewed with an organization I now work for here in OKC. I was greeted into the interview with a sense of hope and could not wait to get a call back!

March! 
       March brought a lot of change. Our house was looking pretty close to move-in ready, I joined the Junior League, and we were startled awake every morning by the construction across the street from our apartment. One day, it was 5:45am. I was so irate I called the guy in Texas to tell him to do something about the project he was managing. I was successful! I think M traveled a bit in March (I don't remember) and I was looking forward to the school year ending! We also ended the month close to a playoff bid - with the whole city sitting on the edge of their seats, it seemed. I got into grad school for social work, and it felt like the world was infinite.

April....

      April brought strep throat plus two ear infections, a week and a half in a hotel, moving into a new house that was unfinished, and a test to our relationship. I started the tattoo removal process, realized it hurt like childbirth, and we found that the Thunder did not make the playoffs. It was a quiet month in the grand scheme of things. Living amid a renovation taught us patience, communication and that we totally have different views on how to navigate the stress that comes with living in a construction site. We were sharing our house with our contractors until 11 some nights, and it was hard work. We were so grateful for the late nights, and at least now it is easier to look back fondly on the renovation. I received a call from the place I interviewed with in February, and was offered a job to teach pre-kindergarten to kids with cognitive and developmental delays. I immediately said yes! I also paid off my car over a year early! Wahoo!


May. May may may may mayyyyyy. School got out! Best month ever! But really, I enjoyed the fact that I never had to return to public school, and was looking forward to summer school before I transitioned to my new job. It was a relatively quiet month for us - with no playoffs, we watched the games at home, and hung out together for most of the nights, unpacking and figuring out how to navigate the dust that was all over the place while construction still happened. M's sister came to visit, and I got accosted by kids from my hometown - all in jest. I also read 100 Years of Solitude. Great read! I was also lucky enough to celebrate my year of health - a lot of you have been on this journey with me since the early days and I went a whole year without a relapse, which felt really great, and I have Whole30 to thank for starting me on the path to success.


June! My birthday month! In June, I obviously celebrated my birth (M made me dinner), practiced outdoor and indoor yoga, swam a ton in our pool, visited a brand new baby in the hospital, lived without internet, and started summer school. I also got to celebrate the birth of my sister! I loved June (always do), but this year was amazing because I wasn't moving for once, wasn't waiting to see what I was going to do about work, and I was ready to move on with my life! I love that feeling and it really was a great month. I met some new people and started to come into my own a year after being in the city. Knowing that we are going to be here for a minute or two longer is really helpful to my goals, and where I want to be, along with our long term plan for life. The draft happened, and I meticulously chose my players for the Thunder. Although none of mine got chosen (looking at you, Rakeem Christmas), I was a lot better at choosing potential players this year than I was the year before!

July...
In July I brought home a puppy, ended my contract with OKCPS, started my new job, booked a vacation (for next week!) and went to a blackberry festival in redneckville oklahoma. I got another laser removal and my feet blistered like crazy. July brought hope and peace into my life and a sense of purpose. Well, until I got strep throat for the second time in 3 months....







And now, it's August. It all happened so fast! We are heading to Colorado Springs in 8 days for a much needed vacation, I got one more laser removal under my belt (and my feet look like they went through a wood chipper), I still love my job and I've been reading and yoga-ing and working out like crazy. Finding a work balance has been the name of the game this month, and psh, 8 days in, I've mastered the art of juggling a 9-6 job, working out and finding time for ME.

Namaste, Friends! 

procrastination is my middle name

Okay, it's been a bit of a minute since I've given you an update, readers!

There's been enormous change in my personal life, but nothing I want to share with you just yet, darlings. To deter speculation, I am not pregnant, engaged or otherwise planning a big surprise announcement; my apologies! Let's talk Whole30, shall we? I have so many interesting things to share (which probably won't interest you in the same way they interest me)! Feel free to skip to the part after this if you're interested in just my ...symptoms.

Okay, we left off on day 25. Five days left and I started to get antsy. It wasn't that I didn't want to eat Whole30, I was just sick of my options, hadn't been to the grocery store, and was totally living the motto "failing to plan is planning to fail." I was close. Regardless, I pushed through. Let's do a quick recap of the last five days and then a recap of what happened in my POST W30 mess.

Day 26 - July 4. 
Happy Independence Day! M had to work so it wasn't a temptation for drinking and what not. We went to our fave restaurant  for dinner and called it a day. I had a delicious kale and pomegranate salad and we ate mussels. Easy peasy.

Day 27 - July 5. 
I got on a plane and went to Portland, Oregon. Larabars, raw sweet potatoes and kombucha, oh my! Life was good, easy, and my wonderful sister took me to Trader Joe's to buy groceries. We ate steak and grilled peppers for dinner, and I tried my hand at prosciutto wrapped figs. #delicious. 

Picture for extra effect - and so you keep reading. 

Follow my instagram to see these firsthand! @sadienewell


Day 28 - July 6
Lindsay and I spent another wonderful day together, ate another wonderful meal together from the grill, and watched a TON of catfish. YOU GUYS, I'm obsessed with that show! She took me on a walk where I pretended to hate it and not want to walk (which I didn't, so I guess I wasn't pretending) but I did get to see some amazing views. Portland is probably the prettiest city in the world. I say this with the most biased tone ever! Portland is wonderful - where else can you find parks down a CITY STREET with trees this amazing?

This was seriously a quarter mile from Lindsay's house, and the trail we walked went on for at least a mile. It is gorgeous and I am so happy she drug me along! I had a wonderful summery time!


Day 29 - July 7 
Homeward bound. I went back to where it all began: Long Beach, Washington. The place where dreams are made of. The place that makes me who I am, where everything makes sense and I feel peace in my heart. Where anxiety fades and I am surrounded by the people that I love and adore. This trip was hard for a few reasons - namely, all my friends are doing really amazing things with their lives and I am not. I feel like I am unremarkable, and that I need to do more. I'm working on this, but that's a blog for another day. I went home and after debriefing my dad and his lady about this Whole30, they were intrigued and supportive of my choice! We had fresh (and I'm talking, came off my dad's boat and into my mouth in the same day fresh) salmon with asparagus. Delicious. That's my dad. I get my good looks from him, obviously.

Day 30: July 8
It was a day like any other... but no, really, it was. I made my signature breakfast (sweet potatoes and eggs) and totally added salmon. I thought about the things I wanted for the following day. Cream in my coffee, a glass of wine, maybe a chocolate something. But what happened was much worse in a few ways, much better in a few others. This doesn't make much sense right now but I can't tell you until I tell you what happened in my post whole30 glow!

My last breakfast. It was delicious. Salmon is so different when it tastes like butter, and feels like Jesus wrapped you in a hug. I seriously swear I felt sunshine in my belly.

Let's talk about the next part, the ... fallout. 

I'm not one for self-hate these days, but I can really be an idiot sometimes. I read the reintroduction chapter of It Starts With Food. I knew what I had to do. I knew to only do things one at a time, a day between....I knew I shouldn't do whatever I wanted. 

It may be important to tell you I'm a gemini right about now. This is what happened. 

Day One of Poor Life Choices. 

I went to a bar with Madeline. THIS GIRL AND HER BARS. Literally, if you don't want to be irresponsible and drink a ton, don't go anywhere with this girl. She also has a much higher tolerance than me on a regular day, and then add to that my lower-than-normal tolerance and we are all sorts of screwed. Well, I was. At least I looked cute. 

My head also looks much too big for my body. This is something that happened to me years ago. Like, when I was 14. 

This had vodka in it. High fives to the bartender, Eric, ensued. Also names for the local clientele ensued. Sadie was back on the town (and had no idea what was about to happen to her body). 

I woke up the next day feeling LIKE HELL. I had what, 3 drinks over a 6 hour period? I wasn't hungover, let me make that clear. I wasn't vomity, sweaty, unreachable. I was just uncomfortable. My stomach was cramping, I felt like I got ran over, and I was really uncomfortable. Note: not a hangover! Just icky, icky contractions of food and alcohol digesting. If this is what labor feels like, count me out. 

Day Two of Poor Life Choices:

Martinis with my sixth grade literature teacher (no lie), a pseudo-bachelorette party where the apps were delicious, and the rose was sweet. We had shrimp curry and I was very excited to eat rice. In my brain it was a wonderful idea. 

I had zero foods of nutritional value (no, wait, we did go to Walgreens and I found some approved nuts and fruit) and the next day I wanted to die. 

Labor pains is what I'm deeming these feelings. Labor pains forever. 

But wait, I continued. Because apparently I have a deathwish. 

Day Three of Poor Life Choices:

I. Ate. This. A sandwhich. With cream cheese. Cheese. Raisins. Pineapples. Apples. Turkey. Lettuce. And LOTS OF BREAD. 

I felt terrible. And of course I ate the whole thing, which was probably 800 MILLION calories. I was so full and labor pain-ey that I had to lie down in a public place. I'm an embarassment to society. 

These were the highlights of my poor choices. I felt terrible. 

Needless to say, my hey day is over, and although I'm incorporating some more paleo foods and less whole30 foods, I already feel better. Just fantastic! 

I also don't think it's a coincidence that I totally broke out as soon as I stopped eating unprocessed foods. YOU GUYS. IM OVER IT. Homemade LaraBars, dates, and other foods, get in my belly! 

Thank you, readers, for reading my thoughts through this journey. Now that I'm done, I don't know what this blog will turn into, but I'm willing to find out. It won't be over, and it may be where I document my 30 days of something else. I did find that through this, I became more. More aware, happier, more confident. 

Would I recommend this to someone? Absolutely, yes, without a doubt. If you have food issues, unresolved or resolved, looking for a way to get a healthier handle on life, yes. Yes, yes yes yes yes. 

five to go!

Today, I'm ending day 25! I'm very excited to be done with this, as shopping for groceries is really hard, especially when learning a new store, but I'm also excited to finish it. This has definitely renewed my willpower, drive and has recentered my life just a little. I may not be smarter, prettier or nicer when the 30 days is up, but I did learn a lot about myself and shockingly about what we put into our bodies every day.
Speaking of, I'm obsessed with this kombucha. I didn't have much of a taste for it before, but now it tastes so much like a fizzy juice that I can't say no. This flavor, Guava Goddess, has been my favorite out of all the Synergy flavors thus far. 

So, I'm not going to stand on a soapbox here and tell all (ten) of you that you should do this 30 day thing, that it'll change your life (I'll write it on Facebook instead!) or that this is the answer to your problems. To be honest, it isn't. Whole30 won't be the answer. For the first three weeks, I was convinced it wasn't the answer for me. I did not honestly think that I could commit for 30 days into a program and it change my life. It did, but in different ways than I predicted. 

Yes, I wanted to look bomb in a bikini during our vacation. Yes, I wanted to eat right. Yes, I had heard the hype and YES I wanted to show myself that it isn't impossible to commit to something.

I'm going to speculate and say that we oftentimes think that "life gets in the way." Sure, life gets in the way of a lot of things. I forgot Alene's birthday this year, I didn't send my mom a card for Mother's Day (I don't think...), I don't get to go home as often as I like. LIFE gets in the way. My job gets in the way, the things I have to do in the city I live get in the way.

But life did not get in the way of what I ate - that was a choice I made, every meal. It was my choice to put something in my body, to either adhere to the guidelines or not. It was my choice to follow directions.  The first time I attempted (halfheartedly at best) Whole30 I didn't try to follow the directions. I failed. This time, I've followed the directions, haven't made anything classified as SWYPO (Sex With Your Pants On), haven't tried to fit junk food into a clean eating cycle. Even on the days where I didn't have the outcome I wanted, where I wanted to give up, where I thought it would be easy to just throw in the towel...I chose not to. I don't think Whole30 is the answer, not because it doesn't work, but because some of us don't necessarily try. Effort also looks different to people. My sister is going through a lot of the same choices I am right now, and she's bettering her body. It's awesome to be her cheerleader and hear about her journey - although different from mine, her effort is matched or even surpassing mine. I don't know if I have ever put 100% effort into anything, this included. I wonder what that would look like.

I digress. As I was saying, my life has been changed but not in the ways I predicted. I'll get back to this just because it's something I haven't figured out for myself just yet - when I know how to verbalize it I will, but the space is not today; plus, I'm sure you're done hearing my rambling!

 Now let me show you a picture of my dinner from yesterday because why not?! If you made it this far, you  may as well see what I ate.

Beef, pineapple salsa on a bed of romaine, peppers, sundried tomatoes, and a few broccolini. I tried to do olives, but I just really don't like them. Never have, and apparently never will.

I'm still not one for a big dinner or really ANY dinner in the night so I'm trying to be really cognizant of what I eat throughout the day. My life has been crazy lately and I feel like I'm subsisting on hard boiled eggs and larabars, but we are getting there. Slowly but surely, and with time, we are getting there.

Stay tuned for day 26, where we discuss America's [pretend] Birthday!