Hello, there!

Well, hello!

It is nice to see you back here, and to be honest, it is good to be in this space. I am currently fulfilling a bachelorette weekend, as the mister is out of town. Dinner consists of wine and whatever is in the fridge (whole foods brussels sprouts make the list here) and today was also tax-free shopping day!

...basically, the rest of the nation (looking at you, Oregon) has to have one day of tax free where other states get it all the time! I do not miss Oregon shopping and today I was reminded of home! I bought five pairs of shoes today for a collective $30, was able to get the rest of the gear I needed for our upcoming trip, and also treated myself to a jacket I've been lusting after for the past few months! All in all, it was a good trip.

So, the topic at hand today is probably a burning question in your mind. Here's the deal. It has been so long since I've put anything on paper I am just going to sum up the year as best as I can. After I do that, we will see where we are at.

I quit writing regularly after I quit Whole30. Life got in the way, I was busy, I didn't have anything of substance to write...the list of excuses goes on and on. I finally realized that I just have to bite the bullet and  move on. Count the past as past and keep going, as slow as it may be. Here I am, months later, writing about my life.

Let's start with January.
      In January, nothing of note happened that I remember. We had just returned from a trip to Vegas, demolition was starting on our house, and we were living in an apartment. The NBA season was rough, and we were down a million players at this point. Little did we know what a push it would be to get to the end. I was busy writing IEPs and the mister was busy slangin those contracts for the boys in blue we have grown to love. I regrew four orchids, attempted to love my job (failed), and started suffering from terrible migraines. January was a rough month! We were frustrated about our living situation (three months into paying a mortgage and rent), the basketball season, and our lack of THINGS that we had in our apartment. Who packs all the DVDs for storage and moves the DVD player into the apartment? We do.



February...
      In February, we celebrated a LOT of love! We had Valentine's Day (which was during the trade deadline, so M worked and I celebrated), and a week later we celebrated our anniversary. I got him these neat cufflinks of the coordinates of our first date: the Ambassador Hotel in Wichita, Kansas! I got flowers and gorgeous earrings and we had a beautiful dinner. We were still watching our team struggle through the regular season and our contractors renovate our house. Fortunately, I found some really great friends in my yoga community and was happy to drive the three minutes from our apartment to get my hour of balance on. That's the one thing I miss about our little apartment! I also interviewed with an organization I now work for here in OKC. I was greeted into the interview with a sense of hope and could not wait to get a call back!

March! 
       March brought a lot of change. Our house was looking pretty close to move-in ready, I joined the Junior League, and we were startled awake every morning by the construction across the street from our apartment. One day, it was 5:45am. I was so irate I called the guy in Texas to tell him to do something about the project he was managing. I was successful! I think M traveled a bit in March (I don't remember) and I was looking forward to the school year ending! We also ended the month close to a playoff bid - with the whole city sitting on the edge of their seats, it seemed. I got into grad school for social work, and it felt like the world was infinite.

April....

      April brought strep throat plus two ear infections, a week and a half in a hotel, moving into a new house that was unfinished, and a test to our relationship. I started the tattoo removal process, realized it hurt like childbirth, and we found that the Thunder did not make the playoffs. It was a quiet month in the grand scheme of things. Living amid a renovation taught us patience, communication and that we totally have different views on how to navigate the stress that comes with living in a construction site. We were sharing our house with our contractors until 11 some nights, and it was hard work. We were so grateful for the late nights, and at least now it is easier to look back fondly on the renovation. I received a call from the place I interviewed with in February, and was offered a job to teach pre-kindergarten to kids with cognitive and developmental delays. I immediately said yes! I also paid off my car over a year early! Wahoo!


May. May may may may mayyyyyy. School got out! Best month ever! But really, I enjoyed the fact that I never had to return to public school, and was looking forward to summer school before I transitioned to my new job. It was a relatively quiet month for us - with no playoffs, we watched the games at home, and hung out together for most of the nights, unpacking and figuring out how to navigate the dust that was all over the place while construction still happened. M's sister came to visit, and I got accosted by kids from my hometown - all in jest. I also read 100 Years of Solitude. Great read! I was also lucky enough to celebrate my year of health - a lot of you have been on this journey with me since the early days and I went a whole year without a relapse, which felt really great, and I have Whole30 to thank for starting me on the path to success.


June! My birthday month! In June, I obviously celebrated my birth (M made me dinner), practiced outdoor and indoor yoga, swam a ton in our pool, visited a brand new baby in the hospital, lived without internet, and started summer school. I also got to celebrate the birth of my sister! I loved June (always do), but this year was amazing because I wasn't moving for once, wasn't waiting to see what I was going to do about work, and I was ready to move on with my life! I love that feeling and it really was a great month. I met some new people and started to come into my own a year after being in the city. Knowing that we are going to be here for a minute or two longer is really helpful to my goals, and where I want to be, along with our long term plan for life. The draft happened, and I meticulously chose my players for the Thunder. Although none of mine got chosen (looking at you, Rakeem Christmas), I was a lot better at choosing potential players this year than I was the year before!

July...
In July I brought home a puppy, ended my contract with OKCPS, started my new job, booked a vacation (for next week!) and went to a blackberry festival in redneckville oklahoma. I got another laser removal and my feet blistered like crazy. July brought hope and peace into my life and a sense of purpose. Well, until I got strep throat for the second time in 3 months....







And now, it's August. It all happened so fast! We are heading to Colorado Springs in 8 days for a much needed vacation, I got one more laser removal under my belt (and my feet look like they went through a wood chipper), I still love my job and I've been reading and yoga-ing and working out like crazy. Finding a work balance has been the name of the game this month, and psh, 8 days in, I've mastered the art of juggling a 9-6 job, working out and finding time for ME.

Namaste, Friends! 

Tattoo Removal, Volume I / II

Hello friends, here I am. I've decided to stop telling you I'm back, because it is inevitable - every time I do, I then ghost for a few months and then resurface to say "I'm baaack" like those dinosaurs from the late 90's (anyone?).

Anyway, a long time ago I promised a blog about the arduous tattoo removal process. You waited patiently, and here I am to tell the tale of the 5 W's: Who, What, Why, When, How (that's not a w).

Here we go!

Who: Me. Sadie Newell. You knew that.

What: My second and third tattoos on my feet.

This photo was taken probably the same day I got it done. A little back story on these bad boys: I was 19, decided that I wanted to rebel, and got two tattoos that were in an obvious place. My mother, that night, informed me I was officially unemployable and she was embarrassed for me. As an idealistic college student, I thought I was being very Shakespearian. "You need both in a quality relationship," I used to muse, "I won't settle for anything less." I wanted these originally on the arches of my feet, but the guy that did them said that it wasn't possible and that I had to get them on the tops of my feet instead, where the skin was flatter and easier to tattoo. I agreed, but not without a little bit of disappointment.
Little did I know...
I don't regret it, I just grew OUT of it.


Why: Well, I kind of answered this. But really, two reasons, one major and one minor.

1. I outgrew this part of me. In adulthood (what am I? Almost 45?) I realized that I had to do a lot of explaining. Not in my day job (elementary students can't read cursive), but it is astonishing how so many people will be SO FORWARD with questions. "Did it hurt?" Obviously. "Why that?" Its personal. "Don't you regret those?" Uh, no. "Gosh, it must be really hard to cover those up." Yeah, it is.
2. I really wanted to wear all sorts of shoes. I'm a little picky about what shoes to wear - I can't cover up half of my tattoo, or I feel like I look off balance. The options I have are severely limited: flats, heels or booties. No gladiator sandals, nothing too strappy and see through. So this year, I decided to start the removal process. 

Where and When:

This year, 2015, in Oklahoma City. 

So. I had my first removal appointment two months ago. I didn't know what to expect, and wasn't sure if I could handle the pain I had read about on google. My plastic surgeon was pretty straightforward and said, "I want to make sure I get you to your point of pain so we don't have to do twenty appointments." Since I pay per appointment, I can honestly appreciate the pain I endure monthly. 

What IS the process? Glad you asked!

Step 1: 

Numb the eff out of your feet. They give you cream that numbs the surface of your skin. I'm not actually sure if you need this much, but I wanted to be prepared. 

Step 2:

Endure the pain. It feels like bacon grease hitting your skin in the worst way because it won't stop. I yelled a lot during my first appointment. The second time, it just kind of stopped hurting. I literally felt nothing. It was totally numb. These white dots were all at the surface of my skin, and then they faded throughout the day. I wrapped my feet up and then hours later just waited. 

After the initial laser, your skin starts to heal, and the tattoos fade due to science and what not. You aren't supposed to pop the blisters or disturb the healing process which was super easy for me the first time. The second time, though, I seriously couldn't stand it. My feet were SO ITCHY that I had to sleep with ice packs in my bed. It isn't like it hurts after, it just is irritating. I go through a lot of neosporin. 

I've gone through two removal appointments, and my third is in a few days. This is the result after the second round:

They are gross, don't get me wrong. It was really hard not to scratch and this process is incredibly, painstakingly slow. 

I'm at least 4 out from total removal, but I'll get there! I have a lot more fading in my right foot than I do my left, but apparently that is normal. 

I'll keep you updated on my feet - soon there will be nothing to look at!

forty days and forty nights

After my post about the house, I wanted to back up and talk a little bit about where I've been for six weeks. On Ash Wednesday, I decided to take a break from social media to observe lent. Father S urged us to give up something that was enjoyable but did not allow us to lead a purposeful life. I was going to go the easy route and give up candy or chocolate or add something like working out, but once I got to thinking, I realized that I would do myself a bigger favor if I gave up something that took up a lot of my time: cue social media.

For lent, I ended up giving up facebook, instagram and pinterest and I found out some pretty interesting things.

1. Life went on. After the initial shock, I realized that my life went on and I didn't miss anything that social media offered in my life. Sure, some people texted me and asked where I was and what I had been doing, but for the most part, I found that people I didn't need to keep tabs with generally fell by the wayside, and it was okay. 
2. I became more productive. At school and at home, I was able to devote more time to things I wanted to do. I went to yoga more often, read five books and felt like I was balanced. 
3. I felt better. Oddly enough, I felt better about myself. I wasn't trying to compare myself to people I've never met. 
4. I was sensitive about phone usage. I found that I was really in a league by myself. I noticed people on their phones instead of having authentic conversation. I was bothered when someone would pull up their phone, talk while scrolling through instagram, one eye on the phone. I felt disconnected, or like people didn't want to have a conversation. It was an interesting feeling. People I liked and respected couldn't tear their eyes away for even a minute. 
5. I saw more around me. I noticed all sorts of things I wouldn't necessarily. I spent more quality time with people and engaged with people around me. It was nice to really remember what life was like without distraction!
6. I got into grad school! This isn't directly correlated, but it was still an exciting event that happened during my time off. 
7. I didn't have a need to tell the world my news. I told people close to me, kept my thoughts to myself, and really didn't have the urge to tell 500 of my closest friends that I got into grad school, planned a vacation, brushed my teeth, etc. 

When the time came to reengage with social media......

....I wasn't interested. 

I was underwhelmed with the people I follow and the lives they lead. With the exception of my good friends, I was able to really purge myself of toxicity I didn't know existed in my life. I don't have plans to be very active in social media, but I did miss tweeting the things my students say! I realized through this social experiment that I didn't need to be attached to my phone - in fact, I should take the advice from my friends that have it figured out - that its okay to leave it sitting around unattended. I will survive!

a house is not a home....

...until it is fully renovated! 

Well, my friends, it has been a while since my last post! Between signing off of social media for lent and trying to find a purpose for this space, I have been procrastinating waiting for inspiration to strike.  

I realize that not everyone will ever want to read this, but that is okay! I have promised my family back home in Washington that I would send photos of our house renovation and then I realized I am quite possibly the laziest person ever, so this is as good as it gets. Voila! A purpose for this space. Lucky for you, dear reader, the renovation is close to complete (ten days and counting).

Back in October, we bought a cute little ranch style house in the middle of suburban Oklahoma City. The mister put a bid on it and we were halfway through closing before I even SAW the inside. Luckily, I was sold once I saw the kitchen (which also happens to be the only room in the house that is virtually untouched). We moved into an apartment mid-October and by December, we were under contract to start demolition. On Christmas Day, our house was torn apart. Welcome to our renovation journey! 

Let's work our way through the house, shall we? Here is our front entrance, before renovation and now. Reminder: this reno is not done and these photos are usually taken in poor light with an iPhone. Our electricity isn't in any canned lights, so just pretend with me! 

Welcome to our entryway. The left, as you can see, had a lot going on. That black-looking stuff on the bottom? It's tile. It is also green and HIDEOUS. The floor is a wood/brick combo which, while interesting, is also an eyesore. We stripped it, got rid of the gold vent (that wasn't actually venting anything) and painted the walls grey. The red walls you see are also grey, and beautiful. The flooring, throughout the house (minus the bedrooms and living room) is a nice hardwood flooring.

To our left, we have the Offbrary. A LOT of thought went into this space. 

As you can see, that carpet is something else. Want to know what is under it?! Round two found this:

We sanded down the hardwood and made everything even. After the sanding, you can see off to the right that there are posts where an opening used to be. This room was open up to a guest room - in a split second decision, we sealed up the wall and so far, are really delighted with what we see:

Currently, we are waiting for some fireplace work to be finished and our floors to be stained. Let's move on to our dining room, which MAY be my favorite transformation so far! 

This is actually a terrible photo because you see two different sides of the dining room. On the left, we widened the doorway and got rid of the swinging door leading into the kitchen. We took down the chair rail, put up some wainscoting and painted it a sharp navy/white combo. There is a pop-out window that faces the street, which lends a lot of natural light. We got rid of that ugly floor and will have hardwood floor throughout. 

Here's a photo of the kitchen that isn't changing:

Well, I take that back. we are changing the backsplash, and removing the steel plate behind the range. Other than that, nothing is changing and right now, the whole thing is draped in plastic. It looks like a war zone! 

Next stop: Living room. Don't judge me for my picture stitching. I'm trying to give you a good idea here. 

Here's what you need to know: Dark wood. Everywhere. Marble on the fireplace, and a general feeling of outdatedness. Fast forward to now:

It was painted yesterday, but since I haven't been there, it doesn't exist! We pulled out the built-ins and built new ones, painted them white, updated our electric through our fireplace and extended the fireplace a tad. 

For today, that is all I have. Our four major front rooms are slowly getting there, and our bathrooms are in progress! Once we have electric in the house, we will be able to take some better photos and get some more put up. For now, enjoy what we have and pray for us - our move in date is only 10 days away! 

5 Reasons Why I Quit Whole30

Readers,

It has taken me a lot of pride-swallowing courage to write this post, but I think it needs to be done. Those who know me well will agree that when I go silent, something generally tends to be wrong. I don't voice things and I let them die a slow, sometimes painful death. Today, I'm owning up to the fact that I quit Whole30...and I'm not sorry.

I have successfully finished a collective 130 days of Whole30. Some days were easier than others, some days I really felt awesome. Some days, I wanted to off myself and everyone around me. Sound familiar?


So why did I quit? See below.

Reason #1: Although it is effective, it was not sustainable. 
This has nothing to do with the holiday season and has everything to do with living life. I wanted, and insisted that I resume my life while I committed to Whole30. Unfortunately, as everyone knows, that can take a hit on your social life. My social life was non-existent. I was also really sick of chicken. For me, this isn't a sustainable way to live.

Reason #2: I did it for all the wrong reasons. 
We embarked on Whole30 round 2.5 for a variety of reasons, but one in particular: we didn't feel like we ate well the previous week. Instead of not feeling guilt and accepting that we hit a setback, we went extreme and decided to Whole30 our lives away. This was not to reset our systems, this was something that we did to, essentially, punish ourselves. It wasn't a good way to start and since we weren't in the right mindset, we grew tired of the rules and boundaries - it wasn't effective.

Reason #3: I felt different. 
This time around, I committed to working out four times a week. Often, especially in power yoga, I felt dizzy, not focused and lightheaded. Due to the lack of nutrients, I think, or the amount I was eating. I did change my diet a bit - added more fats and more starchy carbs, drank a ton of water but nothing helped. It wasn't until I relaxed my diet that I felt strong and capable again instead of waif like. I realize that the program states the benefit of using fat as fuel, and it takes a while for your body to adjust, that we should eat what is natural to our bodies. I also realize that each body is different and I cannot deduce if my body works well using only a few things as fuel. I'm sure there is some scientific evidence in there somewhere to refute my theory.

Reason #4: I wasn't sleeping. 
I don't know if this is related, but once I went off W30 and started listening to my body, I have been sleeping like a little swaddled infant.

Reason #5: I had to choose what was healthy. 
I have struggled a LOT with body weight, image and food in general. The first time I did Whole30, it freed me from a lot of the emotional feelings I still attached with food. When I remove those triggers, I realize that I am in a much better place while eating regardless of what it is. I have learned when my body is full, learned what my body reacts to positively and what it does not, and I also understand that for me, it isn't healthy to box myself into foods that don't work for me. I don't have a gluten intolerance, I don't have a sustainable-sourced dairy intolerance, and my body is in shape. It wasn't working and I'm okay with recognizing that.

Now. All of that aside...
I do feel great. I feel like I can make it through an hour of yoga. My body is getting stronger and I feel comfortable in my skin. I think that it is important to note what I've added into my diet to complement what I did with Whole30:

• more starchy veggies
• cheese (sourced locally, from WF)
• honey as a sweetener
• yogurt (greek)

The list is not long, and it doesn't seem crazy, but this is something that works for me. By adding a few things into my diet, I feel balance. I don't feel guilty about the foods I eat and I let myself indulge without guilt. To me, these are the important things in life. Not how many days I can go without a glass of wine, or how many people ate cheese and I didn't. 

Hats off to you, readers! Thanks for following me in this journey. It isn't over, but it is about to take a turn....

Live on the Edge!

I have an embarrassing story to tell you.

I took off work today to get my teeth closer to being fixed (root canals are no fun). A few days ago, I got pulled over by the wonderful men of the Nichols Hills police department. This man was pulling me over, and for once in my life I had no idea why. Long story short, my tags are expired. Shocking.

Me being brilliant (so I thought), I was just going to take a whole day off, get my new Oklahoma license in the morning, teeth in the afternoon, and call it a productive day.

...I forgot about one thing. Today is Veteran's Day.

I feel like an idiot! I teach the youth, I know that this day comes around, and I still remember that one pre-fabbed speech I had to give at the Veteran's Day assembly that one year in high school (I hated it, and rewrote it). Point is, I know that this is a holiday that comes around every year.

So guess what was closed.

• the TAG agency
• the DMV
• the other place out-of-state residents have to go to get their license

So now, readers, I had the morning to myself. I slept till 11, made some short ribs for the crock pot, and had the maintenance man at our apartment come over and hang curtains (nothing like storing things ON THE WALL). I wandered over to my dentist and spent a couple hours over there. It was pretty unremarkable, and a wonderfully laid back day.

It's finally cold here. We skipped fall and went straight to winter. See Saturday? Yup, that is a tiny little snowflake which can only mean one thing: Snow Days are upon us: the best part about teaching (sometimes?)!

Somewhere in the middle of said day, post-dentist pre-dinner, I realized that I could either go work out or I could do something else. Today is my optional day: I can work out but I also don't have to if I want to meet my goal. I logged online to see if I could take a hot yoga class today - see that picture? Now is the PERFECT time to do yoga - but it was a yin yoga class and I'm not into lying on the floor breathing deeply. I like that vinyasa!
That decided for me, I went with something..else. The thing I chose to do today was probably super dumb in some peoples' humble opinions, and I tend to agree. I made cookies.  

Not just any cookies. 
Not whole30 cookies. 
cookies. with butter. and sugars. 
and chocolate. and flour. 

WHY?
Well, because. I wanted to give the maintenance man some cookies for his job well done, I wanted to use up the flour, sugar, oats, butter and powdered sugars I have lying around here, and there is SOMETHING about Whole30 that makes me live on the edge. I want to test myself, see if I can do it, see if I can bake and not be tempted. Everyone who does whole30 and blogs about it is always talking about finding balance. Balance in life, work, fitness, relationships. Well, hell, I just want balance in the kitchen! I miss baking. I miss making a mess of sugars and flours and at the end of the day saying, "I did that!" 

Paleo baking doesn't do this to me. Paleo baking is, in my mind, an opt-out. Of course it is hard to magically make a sugar cookie with ghee, date paste, coconut milk and almond meal, and it isn't interesting to me. I think the joy I find in the kitchen stems with the idea of having SO many options, and so many combos that if I can find a way to put it together cohesively, people will enjoy that. The majority of people won't enjoy date paste/ghee/almond meal cookies. I might not even enjoy those.

So, here's to living life on the edge, making cookies for whatever reason when you say no to yourself, and coming out stronger and better in the end. Stay tuned tomorrow for an update in the kitchen - whole30 style! 

Stop Right Now.

Stop what you're doing right now and follow my directions. 

1. Go to the grocery store. 
2. Buy pork chops, apples and cranberries (raw. don't be lazy).
3. Make this.

HOLY COW WAS THIS DELICIOUS. 

Using a few simple ingredients, dinner was ready in 30 minutes. We had a movie date to get to, so this was the perfect quick and healthy dinner to get us ready to go! 

A few adaptations:

I used regular cranberries instead of dried. Tis' the season. It added this amazing flavor and I don't regret it! 

I bought my chops pre-cut. If you do this, which I recommend, DO NOT COOK AS LONG. Mine were a little overdone.

Directions, adapted from this amazing site!

Pork Loin Chops with Apples & Cranberries

Print

Prep time

10 mins

Cook time

25 mins

Total time

35 mins

Author: Helen - onsablehill.com

Recipe type: Entree

Serves: 4 servings

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 T. Coconut oil or ghee
• 1-1/2 - 2 lb. Boneless Pork Tenderloin, cut into ¾" slices
• ½ t. salt
• ¼ t. pepper
• 2 apples, peeled and sliced into ⅛" slices
• ⅓ c. dried (or raw, whole) cranberries
• ½ c. chicken broth
• 1 T. pure maple syrup or honey
• ½ t. cinnamon
• ¼ t. cloves

Instructions

1. In a measuring cup, mix broth, syrup and spices. Set aside.
2. In a large skillet, over medium high heat, melt the coconut oil.
3. When oil is hot, place sliced tenderloin "chops" into pan.
4. Brown for 5 minutes.
5. Flip and brown the other side for 5 minutes. Then remove from pan and place onto a plate. Set aside.
6. Turn heat to medium low and pour broth mixture into pan.
7. Place apple slices into pan and sprinkle dried cranberries on top of them.
8. Return chops to pan, placing them on top of the apples. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes.
9. Check that apples are soft and "floppy."
10. Remove pan from heat and serve by placing chops on top of apples and cranberries. Drizzle pan juice/sauce over chops.